Hmm. Do a shot every time a character screams, "This can't be happening!" or "This is madness!"

I've heard people say he must be gay because he married an older, fairly average looking woman. Yeah, really.

Yeah, but the difference is negligible when you're tapping at the keyboard with alternating index fingers. Tap. . .Tap. . .Tap. . .

Two things. First, Ms. McCain, it sounds like you're daring these people to send you some pretty sick pictures. Second, I am SO HAPPY that Mara Wilson is well-adjusted and funny. She was such a cute kid, I'm happy she escaped the fate of many other child actors.

"You moms?" Funny, I don't recall saying anything like that to you. If anyone actually said those things to you then they're a terrible person. Their status as a parent has nothing to do with it. Feel free to stop lumping me in with them, thanks.

I disagree. Being a mother IS more of a job than being a wife or daughter. Being a wife doesn't usually entail constantly caring for, feeding, and cleaning another human. Human children tend to be higher maintenance than regular humans.

I would never try to judge how difficult or easy someone else's job is unless I had experience doing that exact job. So in the same vein, I don't want to hear how easy it is being a Mom from someone who's never fucking done it. Childless folks? Feel free to share your opinions on motherhood with me. But your…

I feel so old. Somehow reading that made my joints hurt.

What a great photo. How can anyone hate Michelle Obama?

"Nobody listen to her! She's a MAN-HATER!!" Seriously, is that the worst they can come up with? If I went through this crap I'd probably hate men too. Oh, and an extra big fuck you to the cops who said there was "no evidence of attack."

"One of Dave Grohl's projects in a small venue." I had tickets to see Them Crooked Vultures (Grohl, John Paul Jones, and Josh Homme) in an intimate setting and we still didn't spend more than $150 on two tickets, parking, and all the other fees. Anything more than that is a scam.

Don't worry, everything is different when it's YOUR kid. You will enjoy interaction, especially after months of the kid just being a sleeping, pooping blob on the carpet. That first smile will feel like a miracle. You're still gonna hate other people's children though. I know I do.

First of all, that doll is Creepy As Fuck. But you know what's kind of nice about that commercial? The little girls look like. . .normal little girls. Crooked, missing teeth and all. These days the kids would be slathered in makeup and wearing those flipper things to cover their teeth.

You are NOT leftovers. You will NEVER be leftovers. There will always be opportunities out there. Ten years after my grandfather's death, my grandma started dating a guy she went to high school with. One year later he took her on a cruise to Hawaii and proposed. If she could get back out there and meet people at…

How do you raise a kid in this economy? Say goodbye to having new and nice things. I'll be driving the same car for a few more years. We do most of our clothes shopping at secondhand stores. We'll going to stay in our small house instead of buying something bigger. I don't care, it's still worth it to me. I…

"It then prints a proprietary liquid chemical formula on the fabric interior that regulates the level of stretch in strategic areas. . ." Strategic areas. I love that. It really conveys the idea that your body is an enemy, to be strategized against. Seriously, it's amazing the military lingo that works its way…

I will fully admit to not knowing much about her, but my impression of MIA is that she's one of those people who has confused pissing others off for legitimate dialogue. Just because what you have to say is rude and shocking doesn't make it important or notable.

Whatever, Disney haters. I loved visiting Disney World as a kid, and I was lucky enough to have parents that could afford to take me. I look forward to taking my own daughter someday.

If I watched the View, I would certainly boycott too. She's absolutely nuts. And not the harmless kind of nuts either.

Like many of the other posters I would daydream about living in the world of the books I read. Some of these daydreams were pretty specific - I wished that I could travel back in time and live in the world of the Little House books. Minus the risk of disease and the mind-numbing back-breaking labor of course. Oh,…