Axe shot out the window and took off before the damn thing went boom. 

From what I’ve seen some men are bothered because they just realized they’ve never given a woman they’re with a WAP

How much you wanna bet the letter whiters call each other Mother and Father?

She really Veronica Mars’d the shit out of this.

36?!!!!! Looking like Doug and Rob Ford’s long lost sister.

You’re not too good with jokes, are you?

Now that you can order dinner at the movie theatre especially the VIP ones, most of this doesn’t matter now anyway. 

YESSSSSS POCKETS. When a dress has an okay print, so/so material, is a bit expensive, or not quite my style, automatically goes from eh to “let’s hold on to one my size and lemme think about it”.

Ralph Tresvant holds the trademark to the New Edition name

My little bro calls them nut sweat. “Hey, you want an Almond Sweat frap?”

Small Steve is a tiny perfect heroic darling, when he jumps on the dud grenade you see the moment Peggy falls for his tiny ass.

Generic version of Sleep-eze for Benedryl or nighttime cough medicine. Same Diphenhydramine Hydrochloride, different pile.

I love cars from the 70's, they’re such giant boats. My dad had a 76 Monte Carlo and a 83 Cutlass Supreme both of which he gave to me before I was legally able to drive. I loved telling my fellow 8 year old classmates that I owned a car. I still had the Cutlass in high school, I parked beside a friend’s station wagon…

What a haggard looking creature. Why can’t these melanin deprived daywalkers be charged with harassment and mischief AT THE LEAST for traumatizing the poor little boy?

Royal Bank is the WORST of the big 5 banks, they did something like this to someone I know. They tried to go after them for a credit card debt that was part of a relative’s consumer proposal that had already been approved. BMO and CIBC are next in line for biggest asshole bank, and Scotia and TD are barely tolerable.

Is he magic? Because why would any woman willingly sleep with and be impregnated by this chinless neckless creature?

The Venn diagram is a single circle.

BULLLLLLSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

My brother and I figured out as kids that trying to kick asshole gulls and pigeons wasn’t as successful as throwing something at them, but you have to lob the weighted weapon of choice (600ml pop bottle 1/3 full was mine, rock, brick was his) above the winged pest so that it gets nailed right as it starts it’s flight…

The green color of my beetle is one of the few redeeming factors it has. I miss the vibrant shades, I hate the boring ass muted or ugly colors of the new ones.