AND WHERE ARE THEY NOW? GONE. BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T RIDE HIPPOS.

or when you get up before him, make breakfast, come back into the bedroom, and realize as soon as you walk through the door that you spent the whole night sleeping in his fartcloud, but just acclimated to it (full disclosure: not married)

Combine this advice with Kim K's for the ultimate #wifelife

The next time your husband goes to the bathroom to poop, throw on a low cut sequined gown and some body shimmer and sit on a chair outside the bathroom waiting for him. When he comes out, don't say anything. Just pose.

This whole thing is making Renée Zellweger smile. We just don't know it.

any advice?? Do I make a move or just wait for things to evolve???

put the baby in the crib. That is all. I was exhausted constantly with my first, did none of that foolishness with the second.

See those three footprints? That's where I was doing jumpstyle

I was raised by godless atheist culturally Jewish parents who also had a strange personal affinity for Greek and Russian Orthodox art and architecture. As a result, I was very religiously confused as a child. When I was little, we lived in Germany, where religion class was mandatory, although parents could opt out…

I

Oh my god imagine that but lasting for a month. My sister talked me into letting her put temporary "dreads" in my hair when I was 16. She had this wax that was for black hair (we're not black) that she used a super tiny bit to keep her flyaways down. She assured me that it would come out that night with shampoo, and…

Flushing tampons down the toilet is the real horror here. NOT SO SEXY WHEN YOU HAVE POOP WATER ALL OVER THE FLOOR AND YOU'RE TRYING TO GET A PLUMBER ON THE PHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING, CHRISTIAN, EH?

Ugggh, I totally remember that ad on the back cover of my Young Miss magazine in 1982!

I remember your post about this guy because it's just so fucking weird and something made me remember it a few days ago. Sometimes I wonder if I'm any good in bed, but then I remember your post (among many others) and think "well at least I'm not him".

you win.

His name was Javier and I met him when I worked at the bookstore in college. He was super hot, but that's because all he cared about in the world was his body. Good for him! Good for him. But between working out and moisturizing and hair care and trimming and and and, there was...not much left. But super hot and…

Ugh I have done the 'slept with him again to try to validate the original choice' thing before. It's not a good moment and tough to describe to people who don't do that. :/

This link is their yelp page.

I love the combo of macho pissing contest with a loose-leaf tea break.

I worked in shipping/receiving at a catalog store. Every day the manager of the jewelry department would come out and we would open and verify all of the UPS jewelry shipments from corporate. Anyway she was very tall and blonde, and I was flirting with her with a small cardboard box in my left hand and a sharp razor…

It was the only one. Stacey at Uproxx and I were working on the same story and freaked out and started racing when we realized that there was only one of these for the entire internet. (I won.)