Thought she was looking at the sunglasses. As in- "He asked to try those on real quick but it's been like an hour. I kind of want my sunglasses back now. But I really don't want to talk to him. Ugh, this sucks. I should have gone to Aruba with Brendan Fraser."

Yeah, well, we're not taking her back.

A steampunk vape pen?

I've had many of these conversations over the past several months. And I've been trying to sharpen my perspective on this problem, the problem of the "how do I help," question. I offer these comments with compassion and great respect for your commitment to children and families:

Just help. Just do what your…

My very first thought when I saw the headline: Ubud. I watched people stand in line to get bitten by a monkey there. I stood with jaw dropped as about 6 people in a row patiently waited for the person in the front of the line to scream and run away clutching their bleeding hand so that they could step forward for…

It's Monday here in Sydney (we live in the future!) The news broke around 9 or 10 this morning (it is 1pm now). Gawker reported it as happening on Sunday too. Please change this as it could be confusing for people familiar with different time zones. It makes it seem like the hostages have been kept overnight when…

I would like to apologize on the behalf of New Zealand for this horrible excuse for a human being. Most of us a better than that filth.

"I've been trying, man!"

I really hate how folks are dismissing her reasons for not getting into the pool. It's a goddamn PE class, which I think ought to be eliminated as a requirement since I don't think I know ANYONE who ever benefitted from it. (And I'm an athletic person.)

sounds like a case for Cro Magnum, PI!

I agree, that this is a "terrible epidemic" is extreme sentimentality. Plus, if nobody wants to claim your body, for some kind of remembrance it probably means you were an asshole in life.

Is that a farm-to-table resurrection? Kudos.

"Well, he screamed something explicit at me on the sidewalk and I was so touched and turned on that I doubled back to talk to him and now we're a couple" said no woman ever in the history of human beings.

Good for Jessa. I mean, it sucks she's marrying that damp dishrag, but at least she didn't have to worry about looking disappointed when she kissed him and realized she was a lesbian.

"Do you want to buy a snow vag?"

In 2010, I had the distinct pleasure of heading to a conference for work in Baltimore with colleagues I couldn't stand. (And blessedly, I no longer work there). My boss made it a point to stress repeatedly that we should find the cheapest hotel rooms possible, so I got my own room at a hotel separate from theirs.

I'm bringin' Verdi back...

I learned to make Fedoras from scratch. I wish I was kidding.