It’s the very epitome of ‘I’ve got some good news, and some bad news...’

shifter looks phallic

Wow, that was much more interesting than I had expected. Great article.

Pictured, the best Raconteur

In case anybody would like pointers on how to properly write an obituary for an evil snake in the grass, I give you Hunter Thompson’s obituary for Richard Nixon. Everything Nixonian seems so relevant these days.

This reminds me of joke that will be unrecognizable after a few more years of technological advancement. It goes something like this:

This just in: After doing such a wonderful job with the CG commencement speech, President Meatthick will also do the commencement speech at Howard University...and as an added touch - to show how he relates to black people’s concerns - he will do it in black face.

Soundgarden was always rad and just a bit different than anything else that came out of Seattle in the ‘90's. I remember buying one of their T’s back in the day; it caused a rift in my folks house because it had a cartoon drawing of a smoking gun on the back

The R33 was described as a “used breakdown car” and worth only $810 on its shipping documents

At this point, if someone swaps out Trump’s teleprompter text for a Sumerian ritual that unleashes Gozer the Gozerian, I would consider that par for the course.

Nah. It’ll all be walking hand-in-hand and “The Very, Very, Greatest! Trust me. I love your head thing! These are very, very, best head things I’ve ever seen, and I got 306 electoral votes! I really hate Iranians. Don’t you guys hate Iranians? What is it with Iranians? Now I know you guys aren’t big fans of Israel,…

It would be great if he was subject to some form of extreme vetting before he was allowed back into the country.

While I hope that’s what he says, I think we’re more likely to get something like this when he goes off script.

“… deliver an inspiring but direct speech on the need to confront radical ideology and the president’s hopes for a peaceful vision of Islam to dominate across the world.”

Troubleshooting Guide:

Is this the new gimmick we’re doing now? “Cheat Codes” for cars?

Don’t forget Keelhauling!

I think President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho would be an Upgrayedd over President Trump, by far.