That’s the worst video player I have ever used including AOL 5.0 combined with old flash and dial up

Wolff is now back down in Florida

Nate Diaz is like your drunk older cousin who’s kinda cool but also scares the shit out of you and you hope you never end up like him.

How can Cracker Barrel rate so high when they probably would have refused to serve you, Greg?

Prosecutor: “Now Mr. Pierre-Paul, is the man who tweeted your medical records in the courtroom today?”

I don’t know Cole Hampton from David, but it used to be that when you paid your hard-earned American money, you received goods and/or services in return. He really got burned here. But on the bright side, it certainly sounds like Hampton has something special with his wife, Heidi, in that she was open to watching a…

Despicable. The only thing that should have been laid out flat on its side was the phone they used to film the workout.

She said she felt dizzy when she stood and had to be stretchered out of the hotel.

My bad, dichead.

“The animals are better. They know how to distinguish male from female.”

You bet. The two go together like peanut butter and jelly. Or Kinja and intelligence.

Well, we already know he’s drinking piss.

Cam Newton: I am so... bummed out.

Anchor Julie Stewart-Binks suggested he should dance for her.

Goddamn it. I can’t very well listen to a podcast while I’m pooping at work, now can I?

I’m just going to take this opportunity to post what might be the best block I’ve ever seen live:

Wu Ke mistake.

“Coleman said he was deaf and had them activate his hearing aids before being read his rights.”