Let me guess, the controllers only work if I shove them up my ass?

Kids, if your Polteageist tells you that because you trust each other, it's going to "let" you be part of its reproductive act, tell an adult immediately. 

Just when you think you’ve got all the answers, we change the questions. And then gaslight you and insist that these were always the questions, and you’re just being hysterical if you think otherwise.

Drinking beer is a sport if you’re doing it right, and I’m sure Hooters offers their employees camo-patterned butt shorts for Memorial and Veteran’s Day, so I’m counting that under troops.

I hear ya, sister. My stick and balls make me violently reject discussion of anything besides sports and troops.

Can confirm. I’m white, and it’s fucked up how often other white people will just casually be racist around me, assuming I’m going to be cool with it. I once moved into a new place and my neighbors introduced themselves by saying “Thank God you’re not negroes, we’re so relieved.”

Every time one of these gets posted, people race to the comments to say this exact thing, stop THAT shit.

“A YouTube channel with an angry gamer screaming things? Well, now I've seen everything."

Wow, I thought that was going to be some flight assist party trick that looks more impressive than it is, like rotating through the mail slot. This was much cooler than expected.

The reasons you shouldn’t play Thumper while high are identical to the reasons you should play Thumper while tripping balls.

Whenever people talk about a Gundam model from the original series being “anime-accurate,” this is exactly what I picture.

SHUT UP AND SELL ME TANKHEAD MODEL KITS

Most of them quit. Burneko, Redford, Lauren, Wagner, Kelsey, Ley, and some others.

Edit: never mind, I see Luke commented while I was writing this, so no need for this to be here.

Also, I think it would be super cool if a wasp stung Jim Spanfeller’s urethra.

While I definitely agree that the lack of competition only makes it easier for 2K to do everything short of reach through the screen and shake players upside down until money falls out of their pockets, it’s kind of respectable for EA to just not release a game instead of adhering to the yearly schedule and putting…

I think I’m dyin’.

“Right here, in beautiful [throat clearing, mumbling]...Saudi Arabia."

I appreciate the people suggesting AdBlock, uBlock, et al., but then the problem becomes half the site being broken if it’s tuned aggressively enough to stop that stuff. Last time I tried, embedded tweets didn’t fully show, I couldn’t comment, and I couldn’t click on certain things (like the “you may also like...”…

“...until a series of traumas—being abandoned by her husband, losing her infant son, and discovering that she was a clone of Jean Grey—”