Remember that one time, when if you really screwed up in the NFL you just went to play for the Cowboys?

We can lock the comments now!

Dodgers defense: "ohhhhh, now I get it!"

Nothing funny to say here, this made me cry. One of the best things I've heard all week.

How refreshing to wake up and find out that a professional athlete has LEGALLY beaten someone up for money.

I'm not a lawyer, I just watch Judge Judy on tv. But I think that an Alford plea is technically still a guilty plea. I think you're thinking of a No Contest plea, which unlike an Alford, cannot be used against you if you are involved in another crime in the future.

Zero cat like reflexes? Trade him.

"PLEASE DON'T HIRE AN IRON, PLEASE DON'T HIRE AN IRON!"

It's hard to believe that Goodell could look even worse than Ray Rice in this scenario, but it would appear that at the very least, one of them was straight up honest about the terrible shit he did.

I was just going to go with "or ANYONE."

You're assuming that all employers actually follow the rules. I've been on both sides of the tip line and there are good points on both sides in this discussion (and by that I am referring to the posts that are actual discussion) so I'm not even going to pick one. I'm just going to agree that the minimum…

Prescient.

I think that's a win for the week, even if it is only Wednesday.

Who did the music? Because it is perfect.

Please someone find a picture of this scout, I can't wait to see what kind of shape he's in. I hope it's round.

Definitely the best part.

Now that's a mullet.

Hey, falling down REALLY sucks, I do it all the time. A bad tumble definitely warrants a short period of bitching.

Jack has an awesome brother-in-law that has taught pretty much every kid in Southwest Detroit how to play baseball for the last several decades, including Jack. He probably remembers how to swing a bat.

It wasn't as funny if you were standing a few feet away at the time.