After their son's legs fell off at an early age, Ted and Hortense P thought they would try to cheer him up by putting this enticing Stones ditty on repeat until he finished high school.

I did that one year. By Easter my house was littered with used cocktail straws and the sad, empty husks of hundreds of discarded Cadbury eggs.

See what happens when you name your arena after Robert Traylor? You get hit by space crumbs.

Does Ernie Els have an alibi?

Sucker.

Righteous Mexican beer recommendations?

This hit home doubly hard for Reilly, whose own birth mother died of shame just last year.

Kids these days with their fancy iPods and digital penetration

I have no idea

MichaelBayTheRockMarkyMarkPlayoffFootballKrollShow

I probably could have just thought that and moved on with my life rather than sharing it with the internet

I thoroughly enjoy Van Gundy's commentary

"There is no me without you"

I guess it was just a matter of time before Ted and Anthony decided to adopt

Fawnky DUAN...gimme 4 tablespoons of Marcus Tuiasosopo's NFL career

Will money be made off of this? Could be time to shop my Manti Te'o whoopie cushions...

I think the appropriate / classy thing is for Te'o to fake take his own life

Pardon my ween

A fish out of water Britt lost in America...I smell a Hugh Grant movie

Think Ray Lewis has ever had a locker room prank played on him?