And how much weight has he gained, and what has he NOT done for you lately? Ghaaaah, guys like that are just made of dung. DUNG, I tell ya.

Luck and safety! Run like hell, honey, and don't look back.

I love me some Annie Lennox, but NOT when she's covering Screamin' Jay Hawkins while sounding eerily like she's trying to copy Tina Turner on top of it all. She's a superb and soulful vocalist, and nothing can top her Eurythmics work, which is icy and erotic all at once. I am so sorry that she got suckered into…

THANK YOU. After that...that TRAVESTY in the soundtrack, this was a nice, soothing palate cleanser.

9 1/2 Weeks. The "BDSM" snippets in it aren't particularly authentic, but the sex is worth a watch. Best build-up scene was the one where Kim Basinger, who hasn't yet slept with Mickey Rourke, masturbates while reviewing artwork slides in a gloomy basement (she works for a gallery), as nearby subway trains can be…

Yeah, when the strongest thing out of her mouth is "Oh crap", you know you're dealing with someone who has zero frame of reference. Anastasia is the one who needs to learn something...several things, actually.

No lie, I once had a boyfriend who was mildly red/green color-blind, and he literally could not tell mauve apart from white. Made me wonder later on why I even bothered trying to pick just the right lipstick for our dates...

That dude in front speaks for EVERYONE. On EVERYTHING. EVER.

Oh sweet Jesus, NO.

Oy Vey made my day.

Surprise, lady! You didn't even know you were pregnant until suddenly, you got yourself a toddler! Mazel Tov!

"The donation comes from NFL's own advertising time—time it gets during the Super Bowl no matter what—which means this is essentially the league taking a brief reprieve from directly promoting itself."

Maybelline Kissing Potion. Another long-lost darling I miss...

I miss those so much. I never worked up the nerve to spend my allowance on them when they were still available. I did get an Orange Pop one in the jumbo size, though...

And on the flipside of this coin, there's the Nice Guys™ of Craigslist. Srsly, this trend is just as sucky as they are.

Between antihistamines and his contribution toward the creation of the Pill, I owe Carl Djerassi big-time. That man saved my ass from allergies and bad periods both. Bless him, and may he reincarnate even more splendid than he was this time 'round.

I worked part-time and had a relationship, and even appeared in a couple of local amateur theatre productions...all while majorly clinically depressed, and unmedicated, and even suffering suicidal ideation. And in a previous depressive episode, I attended university and managed not to drop out, but to persevere with…

Who can ever forget Meggie telling Father Ralph to beware of her "nasty, hooky thorns"? Or the ghastly way Stuey was killed? Swear to Gods, everytime I peeked at the TV when that series was on, someone else was dying in some gruesome way...RIP Colleen, you wrote one helluva yarn.

Dusty pink! I had a dress that color when I was 15. And yup, totally the '80s for ya.

How I wish someone else had said to him, "Don't worry, you're not her type anyway." Or something even more deprecating.