My parenting philosophy’s breath smells like parenting philosophy food.

C’mon the last time Cleveland won Randy Quaid wasn’t EVEN BORN

(listens to increasingly implausible explanation defying all known laws of chemistry and biology) Wow, it really IS a hell of a drug!

Read “The Peace War” by Vernor Vinge; it’s sci-fi where undesirables are “bobbled,” or put in slow-time under a dome so that they afflict society no longer. Then mentally apply it to the 30-40% of America that constitute the reactionary dead-enders. On the unintended bonus side, you won’t get any unearned…

Because the Rangers can be whoever you want them to be, really.”

He still struck out 43 times in 86 ABs and only hit .186, which is probably not something you need with a runner already at 2nd.

OK, but what about the skull elongation body modification addiction?

AFTER the runs had been scored; he wouldn’t have hit if it was bases loaded/1 out or 2nd and 3rd/2 outs. If Gillaspie had singled and made it 1-0, who knows?

Hey now, his brothers Brinks and Blonks are pretty cool.

(drops out of baseball due to poor play)

Ram Ram Ram

I think this assignment is known as “constructive firing”

Another Fox mainstay, unsurprisingly enough

Jill Hennessy, lower left, Women of Camelot. END OF LINE

At least nobody will interrupt your obsession with laughter, forced or otherwise.

“Mann, Manfred!”

Berman: Beh. Burrrr. Bahh. BEEEHHHH

Over/under on homer-ific ‘Steph Curry warm-up shots’ Deadspin ‘articles’ this year: 3.9 billion. Let’s see if any of the ‘authors’ use a thesaurus to discover synonyms for ‘insane’!

I can’t wait until Bartolo fully evolves into Andre the Giant

(millennial scoff) More like Joel Embargoed.