I like how deep into this edible arrangement thing you’ve gone. There’s no going back, and you’re more than okay with that.

Cookie bouquet, my dude. Preferably sugar, covered in chocolate on wooden dowels.

Honeydew? Speaking of cruel and unusual...

No, you didn’t chip in, you get Honeydew

Or buy an edible arrangement. They really aren’t that bad, just make sure you get to it first so no one else takes the chocolate covered strawberries.

“Your decision to assault was calculated, precise, devious, despicable,” Aquilina said. “You played on everyone’s vulnerability. I’m not vulnerable.=

Someone in their life is bringing them lemons. The hell you expect them to do?

Only the gorillas have thumbs - your best defense is a door. I’ll be sitting on my couch watching The Gorilla Channel with the gorillas.

There’s another circle inside that circle labeled “People Who Leave Religious Tracts That Look Like Money”.

I would never, ever do this. I’m stunned it even occurred to someone else to do this. That’s terrible.

It’s happened to me at nearly every restaurant I’ve worked at over the last twentyish years.

The fucking ‘90s, man. Also:

Jesus Hoverboarding Christ. I know that hindsight is 20/20, but I’ve got a bunch of questions, none of them for Dushku.

So by my count, at least 4 adults knew about this and not one of them went to the police? Not only that they allowed her to continue to work with this guy? What the fuck? After she broke her ribs, someone should have been screaming bloody murder. Obviously they all only cared about her career and their own careers,…

Yeah, I’m waiting for a post on it from Jez. Also I just read an Atlantic article called “The Humiliation of Aziz Ansari and its...its a real doozy. Hoping to hear from Jez about it.

Off topic, but is anyone else finding it weird that Jezebel hasn’t mentioned the Aziz Ansari thing yet? Am I missing something? If I am, will someone please fill me in?

I’m 60 and this hurts.

Oh, man. This is heartbreaking. What a voice. We’re close in age, so it rattles me even harder. Here, then gone.

The cat-eating is a deal breaker.

Good. Fuck these little weasels.