My kingdom for a steam room!

Meanwhile, this motherfucker was acquitted, to spite his body-cam footage basically proving that he executed a sobbing, unarmed man.

Well, the pink-penised officers, anyway. I suspect Weber’s “permanent file” is more ....permanent. And probably filed under something like: “Reasons we can use to fire this [insert derogatory term here] later.”

That was my first thought too. I’d feel a bit better about it if the verdict also said, “You will be housed at the facility nearest to the location of the crime you committed and will reside in the general population with no protection or privileges whatsoever. And also, you’re a fucking slimebag.”

The Oregon Trail was just a massive stripmall of Massage Envy and Chipotle stores.

Pro-tip: you can probably find even less expensive therapists if you go to a local massage school.

You. Are. Awesome. Thanks!!

GNOMES?! Omg, I dream of gnome gnickers. :-)

I’ve never broken a Torrid or an LB underwire, but I can pop a VS in half in about 30 seconds. Or I could. I stopped shopping there years ago; I’m sized out now, I think.

I’m alive today because of two male gynecologists and a gynecological oncologist. While I don’t really have a preference so long as my doctors are competent, I just wanted to kinda put that out there. Plus, my gyno-onc is named Dr. Beavers (different spelling), which is just freaking hilarious to me.

I needed this so badly! Thank you!

I needed this so badly! Thank you!

Seriously. If I make it through the end of the year without a rage-stroke, it will be a goddamn miracle.

Right This Very Moment is the show we all need. I need it. I want it to happen. I want to yell “NOT HERE!” like kids used to when Pee Wee said the word of the day. ...and yes, I’m old.

I feel like people should be able to choose their own holidays. Like, why can’t I come to work on December 25? I may choose to celebrate the solstice (generally around the 21st or 22nd) and take that day off. Why does it matter? Why does everyone have to take off this one arbitrary day?

You. I like you.

Try it with whiskey.

Fellow grinch here.

Josefa Reina is the woman in Spain and she is amazing.

I shied away from that because I thought the Romanian judge would dock points.