Do you own bungee cords? 

Gimme dat Gimme dat

“This entire fiasco is due to a ransomware attack on the Colonial Pipeline by the hacking group DarkSide...”

Ding Ding Ding!!!! This is the answer.

Here’s an example from the Associated Press’s Code of Ethics:

That’s a good question. My view is: If you don’t know that you own car stock, then you can’t be influenced to write a certain way. That’s what matters: objectivity.

Owning stock in a company you cover is considered unacceptable in our industry. To your point about being wined and dined—it’s not perfectly acceptable. It’s the dirtiest part of our line of work. The way we handle it is: If you find yourself in a situation where you have to choose to receive special treatment from an…

Yes, it is a strict policy at Jalopnik, and at any established media outlet.

No automotive journalist should own automotive stock. It’s unacceptable.

Munro having stock in a car company whose image he shapes (whether he realizes it or not) is something I felt we should discuss, especially since Jalopnik plans to continue to cover Munro’s findings. 

Oh no, it’s not a press junket. They asked if I wanted to ride any Triumphs and I said Rocket 3 please, and they said “We’ll get you one as soon as they’re available.”

They’re available now, but I can’t ride it. Nobody can. California is shut down. So is Nevada. Stay inside. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.

…

Actually, he’s 77, an old-school hot rodder who’s built well over 100 jaw-droppingly beautiful cars in his life and probably knows more about cars than most people you’ll ever meet. His cars routinely get trophies, and he still drag raced until last year (when his arthritis couldn’t take the g-forces of acceleration…

I’m going to miss you terribly, Patrick. Thanks for the help you’ve given me.

Start buying annoying crossovers, please.

Shutting down the only dedicated politics website in your portfolio right before the 2020 election, one of the most consequential of our lifetime, kicks into high gear. Essentially shutting down the second-most highly trafficked website in your portfolio because one out of every twenty five posts rankles you. I’m not…

“Fap dungeon” is not a term I expected to hear today, but here we are.

ok boomer

Literally the closing sentence.