That sound fuckin' good. Banana peppers make all things better. And a pretzel roll? Shit son, you got yourself a winner. Good call on the spicy mustard too.

Guys. guys. Is a hot dog a sandwich?

Today was so vibrant and green. I woke up at about 6 a.m. despite having the day off, worked out on the treadmill while listening to the Monster Trucks Flop House podcast (Elliot is moving to LA!), got an errant text from my dad which gave me an excuse to talk to him a bit, took a nice ride while rocking out to…

A girl I was in college with, who had no obvious underlying medical problems or troublesome family history of medical problems and was in athletic shape, dropped dead from a stroke at 21.

They were served room-temperature drinks by the butlers at Fyre. WARM DRINKS FROM THE SERVANTS.

It's hard to get excited for new Rancid, but I'm glad they are still around and kicking. The band never fails to put on a good live show.

*moon stomps*

Good Lord, it has been years since I had that!

They wouldn't have had to fight for the Union of the south didn't succeed and they succeeded because of slavery.

AWWWW He just walked away!

Thank God. I couldn't live without Jeopardy. I know that sounds pathetic, but FUCK YOU YOU DONT KNOW MY LIFE.

I've been wanting to watch all of the SW movies in a marathon, because although I obsessively watch the OG trilogy and have seen TFW and Rogue One multiple times, I have only seen the prequels a couple times - I haven't seen The Phantom Menace since opening weekend in '99. I feel like I can't really give them a fair…

The imaginary General I have in my head (played by Ed Harris) would never allow Trump to seize power. Trump would be like "But…but, I'm President!" then one of Harris's soldiers would hit Trump with a rifle butt and Harris would say *close up on his face* "Mr. Trump, you've been relieved of your command." And then…

It was, ultimately, about ending slavery. Our nation was growing and the abolitionists and the north wanted to keep the new states free, which would have ultimately ended the institution of slavery in the south as they lost more and more power in the federal government.

If you get to the point where you are making your kids punch each other, you may as well just start a youth fight club. Get your kids all jacked up on 'roids and uppers and have them battle other neighborhood kids in a basement cage match while the adults all wager money. Start a youtube channel with them training and…

Haaaaaa! That's some fucking evil nonsense I can get behind!

I'm going to write a body horror screenplay based on this premise.

Sounds like exactly the kind of person we like to pretend has a chance in a general election in this country!

Ugh, poor babby.

I like it!