Had a slight Kinja malfunction. But, uh, everything’s perfectly all right now. We’re fine. We’re all fine here now. Thank you. How are you?

Please never resort to unsolicited dong.

I’d be afraid of the windshield wipers.

I imagine they want to keep the stated MPG out of the single digits.

but you’ll probably still lose the race for Alabama senator if you keep doing it

Do you wanna know what else is impractical? Dropping people out of a goddamn airplane to kill each other! Yay logic!

Sorry but I have no sympathy for him. I won’t say that “just following orders” is never a defense, but when those orders involve a grand conspiracy to commit the same crime repeatedly over many years, deliberately defrauding both the government and consumers, “just following orders” is not a defense.

Why should he be treated different than other organized crime? Someone has to take responsibility and if they can build a case against other execs and employees I’m all for that too.

As an IT guy who has left more than one job over requests to do something I thought illegal, I have no sympathy at all. I only hope that VW’s board members face the same should they decide to come for a visit.

What you’re saying is very stupid.

I...you’ve never met an alcoholic or looked into the doctorate of AA and it’s ilk, have you?

From the very first line - “Why would someone from Milwaukee, Wisconsin come all the way down to Missouri for college?” - I was extremely skeptical of this post. A better headline would have been “I Am Not Getting the Recognition for Going Here That I Deserve.”

Are you underestimating the significance of daring to journey from Wisconsin ALL THE WAY to Missouri?

This is the whitest, most college-student-y post of all recorded history.

And if you can’t parry the music box from the little girl can get you some free hits that can make or break the battle.

I always tell the Jesus Freaks:

“I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ.”

These people have less in common with Jesus Christ than I do - and I’m an atheist.

I trust the Mazda engineers more than I trust you on this subject.

Knowing teenagers, I would be perfectly willing to believe at least half of them know metal is bad. They just see this an opportunity to see what happens, playing innocent after the fact. The other half probably are just morons though.