Well, fuh stahtiz, Pawtlind has Lillid, and da Kid from Lehigh. Denvuh has da European kid one a da Plumlees.

Toucher and Rich is also the name of my Harvey Weinstein documentary. 

I’ve been told it is more of an Albany gesture anyway.

The Cubs ownership would dearly like you to be a white nationalist but please can you make sure to do your white nationalism in a way that will not be publicly linked to them.

FUCK THAT GUY AND HIS ILK FOR RUINING THE PUNCHING GAME FOR ALL OF US

CB Bucknor is a terrible ump. Not as bad as Angel Hernandez (no one is), but pretty bad.

Is there a number I need to get at the counter to get in line to write for the NYT, or will they just call my name when it’s my turn?

The Red Sox are paying him $19 million this year!

Sports are trashy tabloid reality TV shows for men.

This was one of the greatest games I’ve ever watched and the single greatest feat was pulled off by my wife. We’re watching the 3rd overtime from a small town on the coast and we’re out of beer and the only store that sells it is a quarter mile away and closes at 11. At 10:50 with the blazers down 5 with 8 or so…

Word?

I knew a guy once. He lost his Lord of the Family status in a best-of-three NBA Jam TE series.

Now his son writes him in as a dependent on his taxes. Boomshakalaka.

What time does “What Time Does Game of Thrones Start” start?

This is a far better analysis than “this is gonna be terrible and I’m so edgy and cynical for saying that things are dumb with the implication that if people enjoy it, they’re not as smart as me”.

I think the Star Trek: TNG might be the only other finale I think of as fondly as Breaking Bad.
Almost but not quite for the Wire finale.

The successful finale hit-rate of otherwise great shows is so low that just by the numbers, it’s hard to expect this to be satisfactory.

She’s flogged that corpse so much her LinkedIn profile lists “Grave Robber” as a newly acquired skill.

Wow, Mr. Roth doing an antisemitism by not mentioning her frequent invocation of that traditional Jewish prayer, “I am John McCain’s daughter.”

Meghan McCain is so goyish she puts mayonnaise on pastrami sandwiches.

having long accepted that his basketball operation is run with all the wisdom and attention of a dog startling itself out of sleep by farting on its own nose