One dude actually told me once that, while feminism may be good at its core, it spends too much time on such trivial matters as privilege and slut-shaming, but it just does too little to be friendly and welcoming to men. He was dead serious, I shit you not.

I had almost that exact wage gap conversation not that long ago. The man in question was assisted by a woman who was like, "I make more than comparable men! Clearly, YOU just suck!" It was a bad day.

Mr. MS Paint/Excel/Google Charts expert:

Woman: I just want to be left alone when I walk down the street.

The motto Jezebel readers should live by:

"Condoms are too big for your penis? Sorry, my vagina is condom-sized. Too bad about all the NO SEX we'll be having."

In my mid-20s I had been dating this guy for a month or two when my period was late. He started to FREAK OUT, even as I assured him that my period was never regular, he and I were always safe, he should just calm down and wait. As he was panicked, insisting that I take the morning-after pill (because my period was…

No, she's saying that all penises can find a condom that works for them. It may take some trial and error but there are condoms for everyone.

Ungh. I keep encountering men who like to brag about how much bareback sex they've had. It's one thing if you're in a fluid-bonded relationship, but it's another to say, "Yeah, I always manage to convince them we don't need to use condoms."

I had a very young (17) co-worker a few years ago tell me that since she was on the pill, she and her boyfriends never used condoms. They assumed that they wouldn't catch any STIs because...I have no idea. This was my face when she told me this:

Ugh, 30-40 year old divorcees. Please don't remind me that they're being added to my dating pool. As if the 30-40 year old never-been-married picking weren't slim enough...

Why would that be weird? Women are people (BEAR WITH ME HERE), and some (I would say most) people find condoms to negatively affect the quality of sex, at least insofar as physical pleasure. I don't know why dudes seem to have the idea that women are always the buzzkills who want to use condoms. It feels a hell of a…

I have had guys say, "I find condoms uncomfortable" at which point I said, "yeah, well I find GETTING PREGNANT uncomfortable." Then they put it on or don't get any.

During my Peace Corps "Don't Fuck Anything Or Your Genitals Will Turn Purple" training presentation, they handed out bananas to start, then went thru the "Here's a syphilitic corpse! It's okay, we put a black bar over the eyes!" Slide Show for a solid 20 minutes. Then they said we could all eat the bananas. Since…

Hahaha I was already really enjoying this piece before the dozens of comments from poor beleaguered men and their enormous dicks who are mortally offended by it.

I think a better solution than showing them that photo is to just say, "Really? 'Cause my last boyfriend's dick was MUCH bigger than yours is, and he always wore a condom."

During the gruesome, sexual education class we all took in basic training they would find the recruit with the biggest head and roll a condom over his dome and down across his eyes.

Plot twist: she has a really really small leg.

I usually go with "I'm too much of a quantum paradox for condoms". I haven't had to use a condom since I started using that line, mostly because people run away right after I say that.

While the idea that condoms won't fit on your penis is certainly false, there are definitely brands that I've found to be uncomfortably snug. So, you know, I buy different ones. Pretty simple life hack, really.