Respectfully disagree. The rule in our house is that the people you love the most are most deserving of your best manners. Of course, good manners to your husband might mean walking around naked, so it's different from Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, of course. Point being, we make an effort to…

I wasn't ready for this comment at all.

Am I less of a "real" woman because I take it in the butt? If average sex lasted only three minutes, we can wonder why people are doing it in the first place! Believe it or not, some women even have orgasm during (some) porn and some do squirt. That was not invented by porn. I appreciate the intent, but to me, this is…

LOL Welcome to the Patriarchy, where you too can enact assholery on your fellow woman. Whatever works for you. But, honestly, everybody needs to worry about their gawt-damb selves. No need to keep up this Madonna-Whore dichotomy just b/c your feelings were hurt once upon a time. You're no better than the women and men…

How about pro vs amateur sport as a conceptual breakdown, rather than real vs fake entertainment?

Uh things I will never do...

It's really hard to firmly say what I "won't, ever never" do. But, in general the stuff that seems very underwhelming to me:

Last I went through my list of things that aren't happening in the bedroom, I recall putting a question mark next to being lit on fire.

I'm all about the average (or even slightly below average) sized dicks. I'm a petite lady, and I don't like a big dick. Plus it's been my experience that guys who are a little smaller/slightly insecure about their dick size learn how to work with what they have SO MUCH BETTER. The worst sex I've ever had has been with…

My mind is still blown over how well they managed to get the physical resemblance. They just look so completely immersed in their respective portrayals. SO EXCITED.

Reading the comments is going to be an unpleasant experience, I can already tell.

GIRRRRRRL I have almost re-purchased Cajun Shrimp several times before catching myself. It's a good color.

I think this commenter on The Cut pretty much nailed it (HAHAH SEE WHAT I DID THERE HAHAHAHA)

I am so going to do that Minnie Mouse pattern as a mother-daughter activity, tonight. Look out, Mommers: I'm coming over.

Get a new OB and report her for medical malpractice. She is lying to you.

I won't be happy until that romantic comedy he wrote with her and Jon Hamm gets made. I need it, I need it in my life.

Ugh! Tyce! He, Mandy Moore and "Nappy Tabs" are so literal in their choreographic interpretations. Give me some Sonja and Mia any day!

The guest host thing this year has ruined the show. Bring back the catty Mia Michaels, the lyrical Li'l C, the passionate Debbie Allen, the amiable Adam Shankman. Christina Applegate at least knows something about dance, and she was fun. But the others? No. And last night was the last straw.

Last night my son watched the Malece/Tall Ballroom Guy "hip hop aliens visiting a new planet to spread funkiness" routine with us and piped up with, "They can't do that! That would violate the Prime Directive!"

There should be a Michael Pitt Library so we can borrow him for 2 weeks at a time.