And assholes take the last damn piece of pizza.

As Picasso (may have) said: Good artists borrow, great artists steal.

I have yet to get fed up with disgusting sex.

"...the choppa..."

If there's one thing that always works out well in this world, it's a prequel.

John Hawkes v. Tom Savini for Governor gives me the opportunity to use the phrase 'gubernatorial race.' And for that I thank them. But John Hawkes would be a phenomenal Governor. He could do just the right blend of hurt and latent violence. Tom Savini would just be there for people to say 'Hey, that's Tom Savini.'

I actually felt bad writing that line. Some part of my brain said "Oh no! I hope she survives!" This is what happens when you put a tall red-haired Scottish girl in front of me.

I would absolutely love to see an episode of Doctor Who directed by Refn.

And her last memory of you would be an inexplicably older and desperately weird version of yourself.

Maybe Terriers actor Michael Raymond James could reunite with Terriers actor Donal Logue for a show. They could call it Terriers. That'd be nice.

"Hi honey! I traveled back in time just to see you one last time!"

At least now I have some small talk handy, should I ever run into Marion Cotillard. Or should I say A CLITORAL NIMROD? Wait, that's probably me.

I've been waiting for an actor to state the obvious for so long now.

The Host was directed by Joon-ho Bong, not Park Chan-wook. Either way, that's enough to get me to watch Snow Piercer. #corrections

Comes complete with massive student loan.

That's actually just Crowe's around-the-house outfit.

"Ultimately what this hot dog is about is a tube of meat that needs some condiments and a bun. And that's a hot dog concept never before dreamed of in the entire history of hot dogs."

Is that Dial H for Hero? I loved that comic as a kid. If I recall correctly, some of the heroes were created by readers.

Here's how I envision the Star Wars: Underworld crawl:

Thingu!