Try Jennifer Lawrence?

Perfect gif is perfect.

Dear Brides: I hate weddings. Truly, I do. Showers too. When you're looking to trim the invitation list, please scratch my name off first. I'm sure you'll be as relieved as I'll be. You don't want me showing up, getting too drunk too early, and hitting on all the men, even your weird Uncle Charlie, and all the married…

The wedding industrial complex is so bat shit crazy in this country that it took me an embarrassing 3/4 of the article to realize that it's a joke. I thought she was being serious. People seriously think like this. People are seriously the worst.

Or be an adult and just get married at the courthouse and don't waste money?

The million dollar question.

Wait, you're saying that because I'm 34 I don't count as young anymore? damn you erin!

Plus, when it comes to Madonna and her brother, the narrative always seems to be framed around the idea that she can somehow fix his problems because she has tons of money (and is therefor an evil bitch who hasn't used her money to do so yet). Addiction cannot be wiped away just because you millions of dollars.

I hate to white knight Madge, but, having been through a similar situation, sometimes you just have to stop trying to fix someone's life. That doesn't mean you stop caring.

Nothing's going to change until those four words are removed from our currency.

So you're telling me that this had to go all the way to the fucking Supreme Court of the United States of America, land of the free or whatever where it is the year two thousand and fucking fourteen, to decree that a fake health clinic is not allowed to not tell women that they are fake.

I saw a drunk dude wearing a striped poncho and a tacky sombrero + a gunslinger type belt that held plastic shotglasses trying to hail a taxi.

He dropped/stepped on his hat, stooped to retrieve it and haphazardly placed the crushed sombrero back on his head, then he removed the last empty shotglass from his belt and…

This... This is what I'm talking about. This is what I mean when I'm talkin' about time, and death, and futility. all right there are broader ideas at work, mainly what is owed between us as a society for our mutual illusions. 14 straight hours of staring at DB's, these are the things ya think of. You ever done that?…

So if you're sad that Taylor's albums have exited Spotify...

Kirk gravely underestimated how awful a bunch of 18 year olds with their first shot at freedom could be.

It's true. I put on the outfit, and was like, hey, wait a second, I'm not 8 anymore. Why am I doing this?

Kirk sounds like a shining exemplar of assertiveness.

One guy got busted by the RA on the day after Halloween, dressed as a pirate swigging Captain. Guy stayed in character. 'Arrrrrrggg' and 'Write up' were thrown around a lot. Captain Tim, you forever have my respect. RA Kirk, you were destined to lose that fight.

OH I COMPLETELY AGREE. everything is ON POINT. GOOD JOB GAWKER ARTISTS.

I just want to see how ridiculous Fox News will get with this War on XMas (it's XMas, not Christmas). Their anger is sooo delicious....