Well, you know what they say about broken clocks.

Another thing about the Charles Whitman shooting:

I was a freshman when Colton Tooley came on campus and started shooting. I was in my classroom and remember the professors and SWAT teams keeping us there while I cried and regretted my decision of coming to the US to study.

“Officer, I’m sorry that he’s dead, but I was just walking across campus and I saw this guy running at people with what looked to be a gun. I was afraid for my life and for the lives of others, so I shot him.

Sorry, I have to block you for liking Peeta. You used to be my favorite co-worker and now this betrayal.

“Earlier this year, good guys did indeed avert an attack aboard a Paris train: three Americans, including two off-duty members of the U.S. Armed Forces.”

Imagine if 25 of those people had nuclear bombs! Or Bazookas! Or magical powers!

this is so hilarious, the libertarian insistence that anything short of capitalism is dangerous, while capitalism causes children to starve the world over

hot take alert but

This will never be more depressing than the time potato stood in for muffins and nobody noticed its time in the spotlight:

In the same way that the mentally incapacitated cannot be tried for a crime, so too can a child or infant be held accountable for something that they were not responsible for. Moreover, the US is denying these immigrants RIGHTFUL claim to asylum status because they know doing so would only increase the tide of…

(Sigh) The problem with a law saying that people can stay in the country provided they have committed no crimes is that they are almost ALWAYS criminals even if you can’t prove it. And most likely terrorists.

I hope the GOP candidates and FOX go at it again. It brings light and joy to my grey, desiccated heart.

If I may add? *Ahem* “You and Thomas can go fuck yourselves too, Alito.”

just gonna write my response to this now so i don’t have to come back and comment in June when the decision comes in:

That’s right — Starbucks hates Jesus. That’s why their cups are red — for Satan.

Remember kids: Black Lives Matter is a bunch of whiners who are looking for reasons to be offended. The real oppression is a lack of Christmas iconography on your coffee cups.

Starred because this fellow English major is laughing.

I blame the rising popularity of George R.R. Martin. When large numbers of white people start dying, he's probably to blame.

Just turned 45. Is my advanced degree going to save me?!?