Woah woah woah, back up.

They're probably mostly checking to see if people with high clearances have a blackmail risk. That's a standard question in the investigations.

Spelling and grammatical issues aside, #TeamAnnaDuggarsBrother

I refuse to believe that she is 13 because I wasn’t this smart at 13. She is obviously pulling some sort of 21 Jump Street magic

EXPLAIN THE SOURCE OF YOUR WISDOM, TINY WIZARD CHILD.

I sent them this:

I mean, an adult wrote this, right?

I do like that anyone who objects to infidelity was preemptively called a “hater,” though. Stay classy, Tracy.

Well, I know it’s going to be easy to criticize this guy and everything he did but, in fairness, I think he did a great job directing Argo.

so that I can seek out potential pussy options

Wouldn’t free ketchup actually be commie? Charging for it is very American and capitalist.

the weirdest thing about this story is that they had dark fruitcake as their wedding cake.

okay but this is legit fucking hilarious and now I’m going to put something in my obit like,

THIS WAS FUCKING HILARIOUS AND HONESTLY PROBABLY TOP TEN ESSAYS I HAVE EVER READ ON THIS SITE I LEGIT CRIED LAUGHING

BRB, giving myself a hysterectomy with kitchen utensils.

Right? It’s decided. No kids. Nope.

This article kind of changes things for me in the kid having department.

what kind of fucking monster devil restaurant doesn’t give you fries with a burger

I could defend being in the position of dealing with a small child who is a picky eater. But that doesn’t mean it’s the restaurant staff’s responsibility to go out of their way to deal with it, too.