And for the love of god, did he have marijuana in his system? Because that is another completely relevant factor in situations like this.

weird way to spell ‘ratings’

I pay money in to a pool that gets disbursed, it’s called taxes. Money that is used to start unjust wars, which is against my religion. If I don’t pay my taxes, I don’t get to pay a fine, I go to prison. This guy is ridiculous and fails to realize or care that part of living in a society is putting money in to things…

Fine, fine - scrape the little bastards out of the womb and let them fend for themselves if they’re so viable, then. Bootstraps, etc.

I suspect Adam Levine.

you mean “EYE don’t like this”

I’m no fan of John McCain, but Trump received three deferments (see rich man excuse) until he finally was declared 4F for what he himself described as “bone spurs” last weekend. What he said about McCain again proves he is a piece of shit of the highest order and I hope he stays in until the bitter end and wrecks the…

You and your calculator sure are doing the lord’s works here, Copernicus. Gosh, I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt over 30ft, but 90ft?? BURN HER AT THE STAKE

The entire problem with America today can be traced directly back to the lax immigration policies of the Native Americans.

could’ve used another zero. Or two.

Take it from the Police fucking pension fund.

A man who can’t control his dingaling isn’t sexy fun for anyone. Remember guys: A man who won’t control his weenie, letting flail around like a genie, leaving just pee just like a meanie, is probably fucking terrible at sex. That last line got away from me.

Frankly he looks like a serial killer. You know - the “quiet type” who was always looked and acted “nice” but had the cold, dark heart of a raging sociopath inside.

Really? I thought it was buying the coffee shop and running it into the ground.

I ... don’t think I’m going to read GSAW.

I went through my closet looking to find a new pair of socks this morning, and to my complete surprise I found a fifth manuscript from Harper Lee. It’s clearly the original one! It’s called “The Stars are Full of Racists” and it features a cryogenically frozen Scout who is awoken in the future and has to confront the…

I need to print the one out about the three-year-old peeing into a cup and paste it all over the walls of the bathroom. If a three-year-old can pee in a cup, grown ass men can sure as shit pee without spraying all over the walls, floor, and (memorably) ceiling.

Neither one matches.

And yet Kinja is working.....

text-message reminders