A good thing to see after reading/hearing all of these brave, gruesome statements:

Nick Offerman has made a point of mentioning his Ron Swanson physique was mostly a consequence of wardrobe. It’d have to be, because holy shit, is he sexy in these stills.

that last guy was the poster boy for fragile masculinity, sooooo angry at the lady for being super cool

Why? Why would you do this to me?

“Well, she won’t touch you, sir. I mean, nobody will. Every kid we bring in here starts crying immediately and that eagle almost scalped you.”

Obama is the best. He doesn’t even have to do this stuff anymore but look at him, out and about. Meanwhile the shitstain in the White House is trying his best to destroy everything good in this world.

He’s the one who said: “Just grab ‘em in the (Powder Milk) biscuits....”

I’ve fucking had it up to here with all the people looking around incredulously, pretending to be stupefied that the word “Pocahontas” is now somehow off-limits. It’s not the word itself, you nitwits, and you damn well know it.

“I didn’t buy food for my reception except for my own plate and servings for bridesmaids,” she said. “The food I did serve, I snuck out late the night before my wedding and took food from my neighbors’ fridges and cupboards. We only took one or two items from any given home, so we weren’t complete jerks.”

About 20 years ago or so I ran into him in a bar in NYC. My friends had set me up on a date and the guy ditched me and we had suddenly become five instead of six. So I kind of wandered around while my friends were with their boyfriends and I (literally) ran into David Cassidy. I looked up and then laughed and then,…

Well in fairness they do sometimes around where I live. However bears are bigger and unlikely to be in your shower.

“Ohoh mmyy ggodod!”

Cheryl casually calling Toni “Cha Cha” was everything I never knew I needed in my life.

I’ve always loved Julia because of growing up watching Seinfeld, but I really gained a new level of respect for her when she announced her breast cancer. The way she handled it was amazing, not making it all woe-is-me even though being woe-is-me was absolutely warranted. Instead she took the time to try to educate…

her 39-person bridal party

I wouldn’t put it past Hopper to just tell everyone that Jane is an illegitimate child that he had with a side chick. Hopper doesn’t give a fuck.

I have never wanted to jump into a scene and hug a fictional character the way I did when Dustin was alone on the dance floor, fighting back tears. Go Nancy Wheeler, patron saint of Friend’s Cool Older Sisters.

Reiser’s “Diner” reference was even more satisfying to me than all the “Aliens” parallels. Maybe, if Modine indeed comes back next season, Owens can make a glib remark about Jane/El having “two dads”?

I'm like ten minutes pregnant and I'm not crying at this story fuck you it's dusty in here.