Come on, man. None of us believe you like shrimp as much as Squire Shrimp Cocktailingston.
I especially appreciate that you plan to be dating.
In the last couple years of my grandma’s life, she stopped giving any fucks and would wear slippers out to dinner. She would get up from the table the very instant she finished her food and race out to the car, no matter where in the meal the rest of us were. And she upped her one glass of Sauvignon blanc with ice…
I'm confused. I thought gay marriage meant I had to dissolve my straight marriage and marry my cat. I have two cats, and knowing my dumb luck, the cool cat won't be into marriage. The sweet one will totally get married, but she's a nitwit who shits on the floor. Thanks gays!
Slaves did not lose their dignity because the government allowed them to be enslaved. My employees did not lose their dignity because I kept trying to show them my dick and putting my pubic hairs on their drinks. If we’re being honest with each other, I’m not sure what the word dignity means. What’s happening, again?…
All the obstacles against gay marriage being recognized everywhere are gone, and social conservatives everywhere are…
there’s more to it! Drunk karaoke fist fights in front of tweens, mother turning straight, much younger lesbian moving to another house in the neighborhood, teenage pregnancy, 5 children later, shared facebook page because of jealousy...
Inside of grandma’s purse still smells like shalimar and cigarettes. Ahh.
I’m sure Guy Fieri carries a “Guy Fieri Parking” placard with him wherever he goes.
The hottest nightclub in town is... HELL. It has everything: Saddam Hussein, KY super soakers, third leg warmers....
If I were the recipient, I’d spend about a grand on as much kitschy rainbow shit for my yard as I could ($1000 can buy a lot of crap) and donate the rest to a local LGBT group. I love the idea, but rainbows can only go so far and $30000 could do a lot for a small nonprofit.
That letter is so funny I don’t even care if it’s fake. This story reminds me of a couple weeks ago when I went to Pride and those Street Preacher people were there protesting and one of them yells, “You’ll all burn in hell!” and some guy goes, “WHOOOOOOOO!!!!!”
you’re so right—i’ll adjust my blueprints
IT’S NOT ABOUT RACISM IT’S JUST ABOUT SUPPORTING HOW THE SOUTH FOUGHT A WAR TO CONTINUE BLACK ENSLAVEMENT AND GENOCIDE GOD
Oh no. We just finished suing said school district because a teacher was getting handsy with her. They know not to screw with her. She's unafraid to say what needs to be said.
Love him! My 17 year old daughter wore a dress with spaghetti straps yesterday and when a school administrator told her to cover up she asked him if her shoulders were turning him on. She's a sassy thing and I love it.
A friend of mine once got athlete's face!