Meh, I'm not feeling her on Gotham. She's going for some campy, Eartha Kitty, operatic fierceness. Which could be cool but all I can see is the sweat stains. I don't think it's great acting, but it's a whole lot of acting. Like showing up with a guy on a leash? I like your accessories, Jada, but can you just be her by…

I'm sorry but am I reading this correctly? A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL advised her that milk would come out OF HER ARMPITS??!! This issue has now jumped the shark and I think we can all go home because we're clearly done here.

My mom took me to see Down and Out in Beverly Hills a billion times (because she was in love with Nick Nolte) and I will never, ever forget how great she was in that. But Lone Star, man. LONE STAR.

In college I worked at an Italian place that did a lot of banquet business. There was a parking lot next to it that belonged to another business. There were signs all over the lot, including in front of every single parking space, that parking was reserved for employees of Business X, restaurant patrons should park…

I learned that you cannot use real hairspray on Barbie's hair because the chemicals will destroy the paint on her face. Or rather when I wipe off the excess she won't have a face at all. I blinded Barbie, y'all.

It's pretty screwy that someone so concerned with animals' welfare would tell a person that she hopes her cat gets kidnapped and tortured. "You don't care about animal cruelty! I hope your cat dies, bitch!"

How to Talk to Stock Photographers About Sports

I understand asking the question. It doesn't make her stupid that she asks the question. It makes her stupid that she doesn't listen to the fucking answer.

I can name three members of One Direction: Niall Horan, Zayne — the one with the great eyebrows — and Harry... Styles... I think is his last name? (I dunno, the guy who dated Taylor Swift, another musician I don't follow but am fully aware exists.) And I have no idea why. I mean, yes, Dirt Bag and E! Online but…

Yup. Forget the adorably, fully-stocked antique kitchen I found at a thrift store. No, my kid is busy with a week-old balloon animal that basically looks like a large pink condom at this point.

I'm guessing the reward for each question was reduced by roughly 20% as well.

Don't you mean... Bung-fu?

Don't you hate that? I worked a similar job for many, many years. One of my former clients became kind of famous (He had a special show produced about him and his art work) and he loved to talk to people- about art, sports, the weather..whatever came to mind. Guy was hysterical but a little hard to understand…

I worked at Outback Steakhouse for a long time, and I remember my manager kicking two customers out on the spot, forcibly removing their dinner plates from in front of them. There had been a couple seated nearby (regulars there, sweetest people in the world), who just so happened to both be blind. And they would…

Crop dusting is the most Christian revenge. You should always turn the other cheeks.

Hat-Themed wedding.

My uterus hurts from that story. This won't win the prize but I'm sharing anyway.

"Hayden Panettiere (as Juliette Barnes) is the best actor on the show..."

I do not miss my library days AT ALL! I once had a patron use the self service copier to photocopy her face and attempt to use that as her photo ID. People have no idea the lunacy that occurs in a public library.

DAMN YOU, PINKHAM AND YOUR DELICIOUS-LOOKING BCO PHOTOS!!!