I was enjoying these, not too scared, really dug Hester—hey, Hester! And then THE LAST ONE THE LAST ONE HOLY FUCK I’M UNDER MY DESK AT WORK

Me: <sneers> Oh criminy, this again.
Also me:

My public high school offered a life sciences magnet program, which included marine biology field-study trips around the world. I went on one to the Hawaiian islands, where we spent two weeks at an official Boy Scout camp...and for insurance purposes, we all had to enroll. So circa 1987 I (a cis female) was a member…

I find myself going back to it roughly every five years. I can laugh at most of it now, but there are still a few moments where I cringe so hard I find myself hiding behind the couch instead of sitting on it. (I think I’m about due for another attempt.)

I worked at Microsoft the year she was chosen as the celebrity host for our annual company meeting and rah-rah misogyny fest. God only knows what they made her sign, but it so curtailed her...essential Amy-ness that the whole thing was profoundly depressing. Flatter than a dead cat in a hoarder house. But! Somewhere…

<I'm old> There were Harriet Tubman postage stamps! In grade school my classmates and I all received one, as part of an intro-to-stamp-collecting kit that I guess the USPS could afford to distribute to countless eight-year-olds at the time...? http://www.usstampgallery.com/view.php?id=16b5eb5172fe24f3ec4dafdd4593f04f50…

I’ma grow me a couple more, for maximum hottness.

Oh god, it’s me and my sister. Me: <busting a move, in public, pretty much anywhere and to anything> Sis: <jesus, STOP. EVERYONE IS LOOKING>

I read Mimi Pond’s comics in Seventeen, in the 80s, and I loved that they were snarkier and just a smidge darker than...well, anything else in that magazine ever, back when they were still advertising hope chests and fat camps in the back pages. In one, her recurring characters were somehow tasked with choosing a prom…

My last office was similar, and we even had Half-Naked Birdfeeder Guy whose balcony appearances were apparently timed to coordinate with our status meetings.

I adore Colbert...and I’ve also burst into tears each time Stewart has popped out from backstage (or under the desk) on The Late Show, this last endless 8-12 months. I’m FRAGILE RIGHT NOW OKAY

Hooo-wee. I’m older than everybody on this website that, but still have my longhand journal from college, and the lone mescaline trip I saw fit to document. I always figured I would just show it to my kids if they ever asked about Drugs!!1!, as an example of “Well, it makes you an idiot—exhibit A.”

What I want to know is, who told her? It’s not like she read it in the NYT her fucking self, Katie.

OMG, Dollywood. Adding it to my list right the fuck NOW.

I went to Disneyland with my nephews last year (hadn’t been since the one big splash-out trip of my childhood almost 40 years ago). They had an absolute ball, so I can understand the appeal for children...but yeah, I don’t understand adults who seek it out of their own accord.

That said, if I was really into thrill…

This year, the Girl Scouts in front of the market assured me they took credit cards and Apple Pay. In other news, I am 147 years old.

A few years ago, while on vacation, I discovered a very early episode of Ellen on some random channel in the hotel cable package. It was during the stretch where Ellen-the-character was still having sitcom-standard crappy dates with men, and bemoaning the whole dating scene. Watching that in a post-Puppy Episode…

I have a “To hell with housework—let’s have COFFEE!” mug that I picked up junking, and I treasure it, but that was before I discovered the infinite alcoholic variety.

One of the first texts I ever sent was along the lines of “OMG HILDI JUST BROKE THE LEG OFF SOMEONE’S GRAND PIANO.” She’s great t.v., and my personal nightmare.

It’s just part of her, like being from Cleveland or something.