Fallon knows what he did, too. Watching his face as he and Michelle Obama react behind the curtain is quite the study in “oh, right, my ‘work’ is meaningless.”

“I’ve fallen to the Red Army” isn’t as funny as it used to be, PUTIN. Though I quite like “Carrie’s goin’ to the Prom!” Speaking of which, this guy/the inauguration are just BEGGING for a Carrie scenario.

I would give one thousand American dollars to see Mariah perform the Beastie Boys’ “Sabotage.”

There were not, exactly; Ms. Atwood anticipated it, and Offred has an imagined-very-near-future cash-card equivalent. I read the book in 1986; I was sixteen, and thought “oh my god, this could totally happen!” It gets more terrifying every time I even glance at it, as an adult. Who is both single and rapidly aging out…

In working with Melania Trump on her recent First Lady speech

Aw, Bobby! Lady in a Cage is one of the late-night movies my mother ill-advisedly let us kids watch, some summer night or other when we were too young to appreciate it. Scared me so bad I cried—but I begged her not to turn it off because I had to know WHAT HAPPENED. Good times! What a splendid and beautiful woman.

I was subjected to the belt and flotation-device-sized pad for my first two wildly irregular periods circa 1980; unforgettably gross, more than a generation later. (And early adhesive-pad technology was not the greatest either, frankly.) But I always kind of thought they shouldn’t have updated Margaret’s…

My grandmother, when her kids (or grandkids) fought and she’d totally Had It, used to say “Oh, I hope you KILL EACH OTHER.” This is kind of how I hope Cruz-Fiorina continues to evolve.

Hell, I hope they did give Carly a bit of a shove. ‘twould be a step in the right direction, of becoming kick-ass people.

Contrarily, I have never given two shits about Iggy Azalea, but at least the girl can spell.

35 years ago, I endured all manner of groping and pinching in my middle school (I’m female; boys were doing the grabbing)...and it never even occurred to me to tell someone. I just absorbed the idea out of the cultural ether, that it was my own fault for sprouting enormous breasts. I don’t know whether to be furious…

Is that from the Palin Ipsum generator, or are you that fluent in...her? Your just-adept-enough sprinkling of legalese makes me suspect the latter, in which case I bow to you because you’re some kind of insane genius.

“Lingonberry week” is just the...Swedishest thing ever, and I might start using it on purpose. Though it also sounds like a precise euphemism for getting your period at IKEA.

“...but living an actual life has taken its toll.”

I am skin-taggy like my parents before me—lots of little ones. I had several on my neck that would catch on collars, necklaces, etc. and were mildly annoying...to the point that I finally asked my GP if they could be removed. I was expecting exciting lasers, so imagine my disappointment when she whipped out a pair of…

I have a 1930s cookbook titled “Cooking As Men Like It.” Has sort of a Shakespearean ring to it, no?

Woooooow. I have a cheaptastic IKEA body pillow that I refer to only semi-ironically as My Boyfriend...but I am ready to dump him for this thing.

I’m always amazed at how often BCO aligns with my bookstore-retail history. Plenty of line-jumpers there...but for some reason I’m reminded of a little kid who’d misplaced her parents at my store. She was maybe seven or eight, and by god she stood in line politely waiting her turn, sobbing quietly. (I suspended the…

My father famously dozed off on the toilet, and gave himself a black eye when he slumped forward and hit his face on the laundry hamper. He also told people he’d been in a bar fight. :) Just wanted to let you know that maybe yours wasn’t the stupidest self-inflicted bar-fight shiner...?

Billie Lourde’s perpetual earmuffs have got to be a joking nod to her mama, no? Someone validate my theory!