In my high school German class, "fünf gegen eins" (five against one) was used as a code for masturbation.

Welcome to Kinja, Mr. McMahon.

I can't star a post that just quotes a tweet.

So it's the one fucking day you deserve it.

Notre Dame mismanaged the shit out of the last two minutes of that game.

Clearly looking to see if Dick Vitale is in the area.

There are worse crimes against humanity.

When asked where he was planning to play next, Lane said "Depends."

On the other hand, Trent Richardson shitting his pants every week didn't help his career one bit.

Oh, like in the poem? I understand this reference exists.

Baltimore took this more seriously than domestic violence

HEY MA! I'M DONE WITH MY SEGMENT!

"I know you want to run with this one John, but I say we throw it back to the studio."

He's just checking out Clayton's ponytail.

I'm really surprised he didn't reminisce about the time he was hanging out with Lou Thesz and Chief Jay Strongbow when he discovered how great Daniel Bryan is.

Reptilian is the word you're looking for.

I hope they don't fire him quickly. I want Tomsula as a head coach for as long as possible.

All they really need to do is change the NCAAs amateurism definition so that a player who gets an agent or gets drafted and doesn't immediately pan out in the NBA would still be eligible to play in college. This "you can't go back" nonsense is what makes this whole thing a high stakes game of chicken.

Fuck you Rick Pitino. On an unrelated note, I agree with him.

Like a trio of schoolchildren