MOM: [gathers kids around kitchen table] I'm sorry, guys. The last thing I ever want to do is embarrass you or make you look silly. You know that, right?

Fucking repulsive

I don't need to hear about your sexual excitement.

Look, it's pretty simple: you recruit a team, sext their moms, then bail on them for a job at another school. Do these girls want to learn the pic and roll or not?

"Ur sexy at 164, but u would be even sexier at 155"

Grammar scholarships.

To make up for his transgressions, LaBeauf will run twenty career suicides.

Before we rush to judgment here, we should find out how many dicks this dude has.

Let's not jump to conclusions about him being an intentional creep. It's pretty hard to avoid sending the occasional dick pic when you are all of your photos are of LeBeauf.

"And that's the age when an octopus becomes a woman!!"

Seems like a pretty insensitive tribute to Jovan Belcher.

He picked a bad time to have his hand down his pants.

Technically her two nieces were also crying.

Because we want to destroy your Motherland Vladimir

Right, because the internal politics of Russia have never led to anything bad every happening outside of Russia.

I was very close to saying, "that doesn't look like Russia", but then luckily a man in an Adidas track suit walked by the camera.

This entire article could have just been written as follows:

For a country that's so goddamn homophobic, they sure don't seem to mind getting fucked in the ass.

"We have a lot of money, we'll build it somehow."