Thanks so much for sharing your experience! I live in Philly, so maybe it's a thing here more than other places.

I live in Philly. It's possible (probable) that Philly has more aggressive strangers than other places, and that's why I've gotten the stares/comments. It's really almost exclusively from black men. Thanks for your advice!

My fiance says he catches people staring often. Usually white and black women. He sucks at dressing himself and has no idea how to maintain a fresh beard or hairstyle so I think they stare because they are wondering why I'm having steak with some disheveled-ass white guy.

Aww. I don't think you did anything terrible - I think you were just adorably awkward and absent-minded.

Aw. Sad ending is sad. :( Sorry he was a jerk.

Oh no, I wanted stories! So wait, you didn't talk to her for a few weeks after you'd been dating for a year? Dating as in seeing each other, or dating as in "going steady?"

Jeez, I'm sorry you've had such a rough time! I hope your husband, at least, has been supportive through all of this. It sucks that some people have to make other people's business their business.

Ooh, those are great ideas! Thanks!

People would often stare, and at first I honestly thought it was because this guy was so good looking.

You sound awesome! I think white privilege can make one less attuned to those reactions as well as male privilege. I feel that as a female-bodied person, I'm much more used to being up for public commentary by strangers, so I pick up on it more. I'm used to being stared at and commented on - it's just about something…

Thanks for sharing your experience! Great advice. Also, yes. Cookies for you!

Yeah, I think it helps in this situation that the people in question (the street harassers) aren't really any more relevant than we let them be. I'm looking to take things pretty slowly, so I don't think family is going to be an issue anytime soon if we even do decide to get serious. It seems like getting comfortable…

Yeah... I can definitely see why that wouldn't work. However, you and your current boyfriend sound awesome and I kind of wish I was third wheeling with y'all right now.

Definitely a good way to look at it.

I had one experience where some white kids who went to my high school said, "ching chang chong!"

Nah. If someone rejected you for something you can't change, it wouldn't help you at all. It might make you more self-conscious about that thing, though. I too have a fear of rejection, but there's no better way to get over it than to get rejected as much as possible! (There's also no better way to find a date.)

If you aren't too geared up about it, he won't be either. Bonus: he might also tell you that it's all in your head. And wouldn't that be lovely/a relief?

Wow, that guy is a jerkwad. So much, that I'm a little concerned he missed the sarcasm there.

In having those open discussions with my last ex, I slowly saw some of the flags that caused problems in the long run.

Thank you! Congratulations on what sounds like a very happy family.