Godspeed, little fella.

Go have a good life, hair! You deserve better.

Gotta disagree here regarding the trolls. We all know trolls enjoy the complete darkness of their parents basement, the only source of light coming from the computer screen turned up all the way on brightness.

For reals?
(dang, Jelly)

People around Trump seem to think that they’re Trump’s “equals” in social status. Contact Trumpness. Omorosa has the worst case of it ever.

You actually might have caught the Trumpster-oompa loompa viral contagion they’ve been experimenting with?

[EEK! HOPE NOT.]

& trolls & the GOP.

The lighting in the hotel bathroom I’m at is currently making my white-as-milk skin look alternately red/orange/Kardashian-level tan by turn. For once, I think I might have a glimpse at the type of feelings Mariah has.

I sort of get it. I hate harsh lighting—not just because of how it makes people look (bad, always bad), but because it is too much sensory stimulation. Sunshine is one thing—you’re outside, your eyes are expecting it—but inside at night, I’m always turning off bright overhead lights and switching on side lamps. Who…

You took the words right out of my mouth. The only other things I know about men’s tennis is that games can go five sets long and Rafa Nadal loves to dig in his butt.

My husband and I were on a whale watching day cruise and we saw a boat called ‘Rum Jubilance’ or some such nonsense so we started naming our hypothetical future boat (he wants a catamaran) with the combinations of type of alcohol + emotion. We finally decided our boat will be called Scotch Fury.

Not just a terrible drug dealer; this guy’s clearly a terrible human being.

girlfriend weeping with a child in her arms and blood smeared on the walls and floor of his apartment.

Boaty McBoatface is amazing, and right up there with my old cats Fatty McFatterton and Fatty von Fatterstein.

In all fairness Hasselhoff is also a big deal in Europe.

We should pay him more for not getting his dick out and waving it about when he plays against other men.

Seriously. I’m impressed that he manages to play even though his body is going through grappling with the testosterone that turns his gender into raging assholes.

Pretty rich to blame women’s behaviour on “hormones” when testosterone has been fucking everything up for millenia.