Thanks for posting this! I was wondering WTF was going on with Splinter? They may have had ‘shitty metrics’, but they were at the top of my personal daily metrics...like that actually means anything. This sucks mightily!

Maybe order up a custom burger with the additions you want on another visit? I’m sure they’d accomodate you. Or maybe you’re convinced that it’s not worth the effort.

The Rs want blood and would be overjoyed to see some. It would supposedly lay down the law of it being a capital offense to go against their orange emperor. They keep desperately wanting to execute someone as an example. To make political divergence something that can be dealt with lethally and without blowback. They…

“The intuitive, laser precise controls of a smartphone clearly outclasses the fumble finger control scheme of a PC!” -said no one ever.

Well, if you could find a few amusing things in all of that long-windedness, mission accomplished!

I was sorta hoping that someone would take some mercy on her and slap a pair of goggles on her. She would probably be wise to buy a pair of cheap and effective swim goggles on her own and carry them in the truck if there’s a chance she’ll be covering any other playoff games in the future. She’s a helluva good sport as…

Just look at this lunatic. His constant need to look powerful and intimidating while trying to appear as friendly and jovial is just sickening to watch. Has there ever been a single instance where he did appear to be even somewhat balanced and lucid? It’s a damn shame that there’s almost zero chance that no matter…

Edit. Another wall of text warning;

Oof, Fox! Sounds like your wise spiritual realignment helped you to dodge a serious bullet and a lecherous scuzbag for sure! I’m still waiting for your line of Bachelor Chow®- *The taste sensation for the non-discriminating palate!* to drop, so hurry up and get on that. I’ve heard great things about the Possible…

Sorry to hear that your body doesn’t want to completely cooperate with your current machinations on World Domination and finding a decent pair of specs while you’re at it. Luckily for you it’ll only slightly delay things a bit and the laser focused mental acuity that it takes to pull off such a plan definitely isn’t…

Oh, sorry about the contact misdirection on my part! I was somewhat distracted talking with my insurance agent when I was doing that last post. Bummer you can’t do contacts, but I’m not big on them either. It is cool that they’re becoming the new sunglasses, even if they’re not for us.

Yeah, I had a feeling about you possibly having light sensitivity issues. Yup, it sucks, but we both definitely got off lucky. Believe it or not, beyond the initial pain of getting stuck in the eye it didn’t really hurt beyond that. It seemed like something that would’ve been horribly painful, but it strangely wasn’t? …

Ooooh, ouch! Glad you came through it all with your eye largely intact. I feel for you, as I thought I was going to lose my left eye when it got stuck with a mesquite tree thorn. I lost most of the vitreous fluid almost immediately and I turned around to my friend and told him that I just blinded my eye. I could see…

Just be happy that it was Gone With The Wind and that they weren’t shit screening Birth of a Nation. Especially now. Sure, there are decent people doing this sort of thing purely out of some sort of a historical perspective, but I’d bet that there are a lot of sheetfacers mixed into these groups as well. No thanks.

Thanks! It’s like telling someone the recipe for a ham and cheese sandwich, but seriously no one just says it like I remember it: Butter/bag/box/van! Stoney level of difficulty. Later! ;-)

Get some! 

Ok, sooo ‘even police car lights on the snow’ sounds like that may have been a Very Interesting experience! Oooff! 0.o

You’re the person someone like that needed as an ‘expedition guide’ for something like that. Or the person to warn them off of that sort of expedition. I’ve never done acid partially because I just haven’t come across it and mostly because I would probably become that guy in Mouseworld, but I also probably wouldn’t…

This was my first thought too, especially since I don’t have any ducks or their fat just laying around this minute. Buncha bacon fat sitting in the fridge though.

Go simple to start with: salsa.