That sound you heard was Drew Magary spiraling down a vortex of sorrow.

You just described “Yankees fans” and “Mets fans”, respectively.

I just assume everyone who lives in NYC makes 175K a year, and have no worries. That, or they make 22K a year and live on the subway.

Seems kinda counter-intuitive to the whole pursuit of higher learning in academia and scholarly pursuits if you just want to axe it all down to bare-minimum applicability...

Next?

I feel like I’ve said all the things in the article at least 20 times when asked by bandwagoners why I’m not a fan of their beloved chickens.

Football would require black people to live in Portland which I’m pretty sure is still illegal there.

Portland would be too hipster and contrarian to care about it. BRO THE TIMBERS ARE A REAL SPORT BRO

You forgot they also gave up a wide receiver reverse touchdown pass from like midfield, which was identical to a play the Steelers had already run earlier that season. And yet, despite only scoring ten points, the entitled dipshits of Seattle think they were “robbed”. That entire game sucked outside of two plays - the…

“Also Russell Wilson is still the lamest form of Black Ned Flanders.”
That sounds pretty good to me lmao!

The first day of football season in the Pacific Northwest is one of the truly great days of the year. It’s always nice out, it’s still kind of warm, and for one blissful day, all the fucking idiot SeaChicken fans are sequestered from the rest of society at whatever boob and beer restaurant is throwing a kickoff party.…

There was definitely a time in the ‘90s where wearing Seahawks gear got you made fun of.

Pretty much explains the first divorce.

Spirit Airlines on line 1.

Are you joking? It is the single best thing in the world about living on the West Coast.

It’s the best, one of the few things I miss about the West Coast. You wake up, have some eggs and hash browns, and watch football all day. Then at night, you drink a ton of water, smoke a little bit to unwind, and you can actually go to bed at a decent hour.

“When you’re in the same division as Jeff Fisher AND Jed York, you get a four-win head start every season”

That’s not that bad compared to this archived footage of him last year:

I wouldn’t say they are football illiterate. They’ve learned a lot in the three years they have rooted for the Seahawks.

Bring back fat kickers.