This is going to be a feel good story by the time that the Olympics are over.

Ah the old pinch and puke. This con takes me back to the 1940s

I’m not super clear on Canadian football rules. Does he have to say sorry to the opposing team now?

Hopefully the boy’s mother has a chance to speak at the 2020 DNC.

. . . but there are so, so many people who actually think this way. Curt is not an outlier. Even if she wins, what do we do with the tens of millions of Americans who actually subscribe to this nonsense and believe Donald Trump should be our President? I am pretty middle-of-the-road politically, registered Democrat…

Conservative memes aren’t so much attempts at jokes as they are really short pamphlets trying to fully explain everything they believe in regarding a certain subject.

Another off-target kick affects the Vikings adversely. Drew is gonna drink a lot tonight.

That would allow for some sweet Jumbo-tron intros.

Why are players from both teams down? Why the football grenades? Do those lasers come from cocaine use?
So many questions.

no time 2 sex

So, he’s trying to regain his virginity, right?

She hasn’t won yet, so find your local Democratic party and get to work!

I know I’m like 10 minutes away from starting my monthly grind but I am emotionally unstable in the best way. I am sobbing again because of this woman WHO WATCHED HER MOTHER VOTE IN THE FIRST ELECTION THAT INCLUDED WOMEN and also because my own three daughters are going to witness a woman elected president of these…

This is absolute gold ; ‘but I wish him well in the competition,”. Drops mic and walks away with Olivia Munn.

You talk about air travel. You talk about cargo shorts. But you fail to make the obvious connection:

My favorite is people who aren't strong enough to lift their own overhead bag. Pack less or gate check it, no one wants to get hit with your stupid luggage (allowances for the elderly and/or infirm, obviously) as you flail around trying to wrestle it over your head.

UGH you’re going to be one of THOSE people who insist that your overstuffed gigantic rolly bag will fit JUST HOLD ON GIVE ME A GODDAMN MINUTE. You’re going to hold up the whole boarding process by trying desperately in vain to stuff that obnoxious bag in the overhead compartment before begging the flight attendant to…

You SHOULD feel guilty. Get on that shit. It’s worth it. Even if you have to give up something else to make the time!!!

This makes me feel guilty for not watching her show. She’s the best.