Friend to me after reading this article: “And apparently I have to like Third Eye Blind now. This day is not going well.”

Bad news— 90s rich kid liberal stoners are now Republicans.

Third eye open, well done.

At least 18 years, from my experience.

It is an even year. Might as well shut kershaw down now and keep him fresh for 2017.

For those of you who don’t know, the perceived speed stat is obtained by performing a postgame colorimetry analysis on the back of the hitter’s pants.

I misread the headline and thought there was another domestic abuse scandal brewing.

Ryan Flaherty ain’t scared.

Not returning texts? “You, sir, have the boorish manners of a Yalie!”

Couldn’t wait longer than eight minutes to explain your joke?

Ah, we don’t like our Ivy League/Manning based puns, huh?

Probably, it was during 2009 when Favre was balling out.

You know, Childress subjected us to some truly bizarre motivational things over the years, but I have to say, what the fuck did I just watch?

Well, it’s broken. Looking at the console of my browser, it says the site has exceeded its daily quota of maps from Google.

Pokemon Go! - “I hope you like Pidgeys!”

So, as far as I know, there is some randomization to what spawns where. But specific areas do have higher spawn rates for certain types. That means you’ll have a higher chance of finding a certain type if you go to an area that’s known to spawn them more often. Make sense? It’s not perfect by any means, but it takes…

You’re making the heroic assumption that he cared about getting back onto the field in time.

The little league dugout was good enough for Stacy, freshman at Ridgemont High, to lose her virginity.

All those innocent stories my great aunt Cindy told us about waking up early to get the Strawberry jam make sense now. I knew there were no strawberry bushes at the god damn ballpark.

I don’t think this is that rare of a thing, actually. I watch a lot of Nationals games, and I think Jonathan Papelbon must do it too, as players instruct him to ‘get fucked’ all the time.