Girl I feel you if I'm giving up all the possible good dick out there for you, you better not be eating some other pussy because I will cut off your dick and choke you with it.

This kid is the Antichrist. Just sayin'.

I attended a taxidermy class with my girlfriend (our version of a date— a really expensive date) and it was mega fun. We got frozen fancy rats and had to warm them up in our hands via massage for a few minutes. (A good time to get to know the little fellas!) Then we made an incision and peeled away the skin, which…

Start working at home with Google! It's by-far the best job I've had. Last Wednesday I got a brand new BMW since getting a check for $6474 this - 4 weeks past. I began this 8-months ago and immediately was bringing home at least $77 per hour. I work through this link, go to tech tab for work detail.

Start working at home with Google! It's by-far the best job I've had. Last Wednesday I got a brand new BMW since…

Start working at home with Google! It's by-far the best job I've had. Last Wednesday I got a brand new BMW since getting a check for $6474 this - 4 weeks past. I began this 8-months ago and immediately was bringing home at least $77 per hour. I work through this link, go to tech tab for work detail.

Start working at home with Google! It's by-far the best job I've had. Last Wednesday I got a brand new BMW since…

Start working at home with Google! It's by-far the best job I've had. Last Wednesday I got a brand new BMW since getting a check for $6474 this - 4 weeks past. I began this 8-months ago and immediately was bringing home at least $77 per hour. I work through this link, go to tech tab for work detail.

Start working at home with Google! It's by-far the best job I've had. Last Wednesday I got a brand new BMW since…

My pure and mildly obsessive love for everything Mindy made me click on this link despite my absolute hatred for anything Kardashian. Now, this is the worst thing that happened to me all day bc I was an episode behind and had no idea that Mindy's pregnant. I am blaming Kris Jenner. My hatred burns further.

What pisses me off is that if she dies, her douchebag brother/husband is going to keep everything. When he's one of the worst influences of her life and a massive hanger-on. He clearly didn't protect her but he will sure be the person who benefits the most if she's gone.

I wish she could have had a chat with France Bean Cobain. Despite not having a real parent around while she was growing up, she's managed alright.

I found my first grey pube when I was 13 years old :(

It was stuck to my pancakes at IHOP :( :(

No one will top this. It is my friends' favorite story to tell at parties because no one can ever beat it:

Same. Or I start singing "Stroke it real good!" to the tune of Salt N Pepa's Push It.

ARRGGGH. Mr Eepah accidentally wakes me up with this every once in a while, and it gets on my nerves, only because it hinders my fragile-enough-as-it-is ability to sleep through the night. I usually go, "Hey, could you knock that off? I'm trying to sleep!" and he mutters about it being "just scratching myself" and I…

Typically I just yell "Last one to finish does the dishes" and make it a race.

When I was about 15, I dyed my hair jet black. Which made me look like I was not only dead, but in advanced stages of decay. After a few months and a few inches of my natural (dark-blond) color growing in at the roots, I tried bleaching all of it platinum.

When I was in 8th grade, I was determined to have one of those cute, circa-2000 pixie cuts you saw in Delia*s catalogs and Seventeen magazine (usually accompanied by tiny pigtails and/or an inordinate amount of butterfly barrettes). So, for my 13th birthday, my mom took me to the salon for a makeover. Problem: it was…