I’ll be cool with this the very second I see something equitable on Jezebel.

Fellow Whites, we need to start tackling dips like this. They’re making us “good ones” look bad. I mean, worse. If that was possible.

Go work out, then.

“Too,” and the man who stared down Putin (you know, as opposed to being controlled by him) is no chicken shit. But hey, maybe YOU will also be remembered for eternity too, right? No? Oh well, participation trophies are fun, too.

I don’t understand why she’s getting all of this attention. There is not “there” there. I’ve seen her interviews - they weren’t great, and that Putin thing was just ridiculous.

I teach five classes of freshman a day - I am FULL of “I should not have done that,” and this 7 second idea is a great one. I’d already been doing a version of “you’ve occupied enough space in my head, Erik Niklaus from 8th grade,” but this is a little more streamlined.

Your primate brain has a function where it analyzes episodes for future dangers; it’s turned into hypervigilance in a world that never shuts up for two seconds.

Oh I can’t shade that - girl’s gotta eat. I’m just not sure this was the moment to do that, but I get it. She’s Kathy.

I’d be fine if Beyonce and Rihanna and their entire thing just went away now. I love how the States pride themselves on not having a king and yet can’t go three seconds without convincing some singer that they are actual royalty, with attitude to match.

Kathy....you shouldn’t have apologized at all, but you did, and people by and large appear to be on your side about this - SO OF COURSE you grab all the media you can. Half of me likes your opportunism, the other half of me is tired of it. I liked your beheaded pic - I thought it had clever political context of how…

The only good part about “Interstellar” was that major league baseball had been returned to the level of a local event, with regular people playing.

“Marla, how many times a day do you vomit at the idea of that thing ejaculating inside of you? Marla? Marla!”

If my control panel doesn’t immediately electrocute me with lightning bolts the second my ship is attacked, it’s not accurate.

She’s punching herself in the face for being racist, I think she got it just right.

Many roads; same destination.

Elizabeth has shown quite a bit of humor about herself.

Whoah, that black dress with the starburst around the neckline is soooo unappealing.

You hit it right on the head - my biggest fear is that we’re simply too selfish to give the kids what they will need. Material stuff, definitely, and we both come from asshole families so we’re more than aware of how kids can get affected. But there’s a reason we waited so long, right? We like our routine and our…

Really? Because we’re getting up there and if we’re going to adopt we need to do it soon.

Hi asshole, I am a white person and I sure as shit don’t do this. Learn qualifiers like “a lot of” and “a huge number of” and “quite a few” instead of f*cking ALL, okay? Thanks.