Hooray, we’re a marketing gimick again!

And this is where I tell you that you’re seriously fucked up. Putting aside how clothes make one a whore, if a whore wants to be a whore and dress like one, whatever that is, that’s his or her business. You, however, can fuck off.

Oh my god I think you bored me to actual death.

I never get tired of hearing about race issues from people who’ve been alive for a couple of decades and have it allllll figured out.

So now she knows what most of us learned in college, that video of us being drunk is not cute.

You know, that’s actually a really good point. I will now dial my judgment back accordingly.

Why do people start written communication with verbal tics? “Yeah, I’m gonna....” “Right, see the way it was....” And my favorite: “Um, why....” Really weird.

Oh right, because there’s a basketball thingie going on and you guys would literally die if you couldn’t claim some part of it too.

Whoever drew this has never seen a dick in their life.

Well this post sure didn’t dispell that much.

Wow, Kate does not seem fun in any way.

Oh Beth. If only that were how it worked.

As a person with seasonal allergies, I cringed at this idea.

Twas beauty killed the beast.

Not a gender thing, but a pomposity thing.

Oh look everybody, it’s the Brawny Paper Towel Man.

That really is a shame, and choke on a dick.

The punchline of this is “look at my upper middle class existence that can even dream of a driveway like this, let alone that much rural landspace.”

I was mauled by a German Shepherd while riding my bike past a junkyard on the outskirts of Houston, when I was 15, at 2am because I had snuck out of the house to meet up with the dude who had delivered our pizza and snuck me his phone number. My dad was at work and was a paramedic, so he’s the one who got the call…

I already live in the perfect place. If the neighbors want to be assholes, you put up fences.