“Michelle Obama is beloved by all who value what is righteous and true” is a superb line, too.

I love Michelle Obama so much. She’s so graceful and smart and badass. I’m sad that they’re leaving. *sobs*

*their*

“hellacious, I’ve nearly lost the will to live”

I hope she takes Awesome’s last name

My mom was a teacher. She had a little boy in 3rd grade that just always seemed a bit off. She asked his parents to come in for a meeting to discuss his progress. The father was very domineering and tried to constantly overtalk my mother and his own wife. A know-it-all, but in a creepy, threatening way. Mom suspected…

Mine too! Happy birthday!!

And me! It’s my birthday too! What company to have! I had delicious Italian food and got a clarisonic which I’ve wanted for so long and am now drinking ciders and watching trash tv with my bf and cat. Pretty good!

K but actually:

It is also my birthday today. So I’m next to date Kanye?

bloody hell yes

Whoa.......oh yeah, that’s shade.

this reminded me of the best line from the truly underrated show, greek:

THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING.

But was the Planned Parenthood pink dress Clinton wore at the Catholic dinner shade? I like to think it is.

there were a lot of awkward, academically underperforming girls who found that book comforting.

Yeah, it’s just so much fun mocking African names! Shut up.

Shut the fuck up.

I listened to this, and it is SO frustrating. I want to dismantle all sheriff’s offices in Minnesota.

No I definitely I agree, he seems like a sweet dude and I like the stories he tells but I frequently let out an audible, exasperated groan whilst listening to the podcast.