“Drake needs to be careful here; coming at Perkins can ruin your life.”

No, he’s too old to do Jerry Lawler.

Clearly you don’t have the right stuff. Probably not a winner. Too thinky.

Joe West would be the 2013 Peyton Manning of fantasy umpires.

Third-base is double penetration in Kentucky.

That moment only seems quiet later, when you remember it. But there’s always one bitch screaming his head off about how his parents are going “kill” him and, in my case, a Samoan drug dealer making threats to any “ola that would snitch him out”

I’m sorry brother but this is America, the land of getting spectacularly lit on the golf course

Let he who doesn’t chop his parmesan cheese with a credit card cast the first stone.

Here’s the thing, as a Maryland grad, and veteran of those mid 90s ACC wars, I don’t regret the move. It was good for the University, which I know non-alums don’t really care about. It was good for the non rev programs that got cut because the athletic department was hemmoraging money.

I’d be looking at porn on my phone if I had to sit through that.

how did they not just back the Brinks truck up to Archie Miller, who was still at Dayton at the time?

Oh please Trump spare us the World Cup, it’d be the first good thing you’ve done. A USA World Cup would turn the “ACTUALLY SOCCER IS AMERICA’S FASTEST GROWING SPORTS!” crowd up to 11. No one cares, just let me watch football.

I still don’t know how many DB techniques Fisher taught him.

This version of the anthem actually gave Pence blue balls

Man, Carol Channing looks really good for 97!

Even Mike Pence had to sit down in the middle of that singing of the anthem.

To this day I just don’t understand how an entertainment company can be so bad at marketing superstars. They have tons of personality and potential on their roster, but absolutely nobody knows how to market it. You’ve got current champions who are probably better than any champions they’ve ever had before, and it’s…

Guy looks like a local-access cable version of Newt Gingrich so I’m not surprised.

Ah the ol ‘skewed priorities defense’

I think the big problem is that Triple H still thinks he’s the person people want to see