Please Kinja, give this humanoid all of the stars.

“wow makes u think”

—John Elway

1) Where did she use the word “cheater,” anywhere? You literally quoted this word, so I look forward to your citation.
2) She did not single anyone out, she merely said that anyone getting caught should get banned for life. No matter what you think of this take, it is the literal opposite of singling anyone out.
3) How…

The average NFL career is three years long, blah blah blah.

Remind me again, how many years did this failure spend in the NFL?

It’s hypocritical and disingenuous to disagree with LPShea about anything, ever?

There’s really not a borderline, that I’m aware of. Either a substance is banned, or it isn’t. The effectiveness and ethicality of banned/unbanned substances may be gray, and often is. But not the legality. If it's on the list, it's banned, else, not banned.

There’s always the wild card!

—Definitely someone else, weeks before me

I don’t understand why anyone would think this is A-Okay. If you can use a booster for this kind of stuff, then it’s only a matter of time before boosters start letting athletes have money of their own, which is the real outrage in NCAA sports.

I'm mad as hell.

I used to enjoy your kinja.

I still do, but I used to, too.

TBF this is a good way to make sure you don't break any fingers.

It's pretty much impossible to sit on a couch and watch someone else bunt without knowing proper bunting technique.

Deadspin, you and your stories. Rio's a shitshow. Beer kills brain cells.

It’s almost as if women are actual human beings who crave human interaction; not vapid, soulless holograms, who only and barely exist for the sole purpose of getting pulled by superior males.

Playing A-Rod would be a perfect way to tank and get butts in the seats!

They’d get a lot more fans into the seats by turning a 5 game wild card deficit into something like 2-3 games. That way, you’re at least kinda maybe playing for something.

It's not really superstars or exciting players that sell tickets. It's staying in playoff contention that sells seats.

Incidentally, is there any less of a "right way" to win a championship than by winning 83 games in the regular season, then winning a tournament that is widely regarded as a crapshoot?

I have considered how sad I would be to see cold nations get upstaged by American swimmers and have decided to soften my position.

There's probably a Mitch Hedberg joke in here about how he's capable of caring for himself, thankyouverymuch.

Hey now, the Cards still have a 1.8% chance of winning the division.

“If the legend who carried them to a World Series title in 2009 isn’t worthy of participating in those games, then I don’t know who is.”

Just a guess, but maybe somebody who is at least playing at replacement level? Someone who either plays defense or is safely above the Mendoza line? I mean seriously, just one of the…