For fuck's sake, AVClub, give us a warning when an article is going to have a header photo of Jeff Sessions.

Samsung will be selling these units exclusively in North Korea.

You're just like one of those teenagers from Mars.

Personally I was expecting the lyrics to Mommy, Can I Go Out and Kill Tonight to be more Shakespearean.

It was originally going to be called The Chins of Evil. Because this evil festival could be none the more chinnier.

The poster says "Camping Available." Because this could be fun for you and your whole satanic family!

The "Torture Castle" is a locked room where his last four albums play on a loop.

He wrote the manual on it. Seriously, it's called Getting AIDS: The Fast and Easy-E Way!, by Eric Wright.

Absolutely Billy Joel deserves a place there!

The Humpty Dance is awesome. Even if it's goofy and fun, it's still a great song (see also Ween).

Snoop is awesome and it's going to be alot of fun watching him do this. But it would be really, really cool to see Shock G inducting Tupac!

Shut up, Madonna.

The very concept of a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is absolutely stupid. You're ranting about the wrong thing.

I made a fleshlight using scrap lumber and twine. I followed the instructions but it doesn't produce the desired effect. Actually I'm chafing pretty bad.

This would be the ideal time to release that Joan Baez / Tupac collaboration I've been hearing about.

Wanker… butter… Uh, I'll be back in a minute!

Hey, I'm listening to Careering from PiL's Second Edution now! Goddamn that's a fantastic album. Keith Kevine's guitar, Jah Wobble's propulsive bass, the spacey synthesizers… Lydon does his thing, too.

But I only eat raw food that has naturally fallen to the ground. What tasty cuisine does Chicago have to offer me.

And Duran Duran smells like cabbage and diesel. Succulent, delicious diesel.

Wait, so was Eddie Murphy lowered from the rafters?