Because sometimes the trash takes itself out.

It happens to me too!

In other pedophile news, Mark Salling killed himself. So there’s that.

I am crazy thrilled that Jason Isbell did so well. Dude is seriously talented.

lol get the f*ck out of town with this BS. This was Kesha’s award. He didn’t even bother to show up.

UGH, there were literally two things that got me through last year. Kesha and Fiona the hippo.

Why doesn’t Chrissy Teigen have a cooking show?

I just think these two are a treat and I will legit cry if they ever break up.

What immense self-restraint you have.

I forgive someone for not knowing the Caesar salad was actually popularized in Tijuana, and that there is nothing Roman about it. But is poppyseed a hard word? Did she call romaine lettuce “Roman lettuce”? Is this supposed to be clever/funny/entertaining? It just seems like a poorly done imitation of this video, which…

why are you here

Kylie Jenner irl:

My 14 yr old called me while visiting his dad to complain about his step-mom. And he said “Just, mom, what even is the point of Jenny (step-mom, not real nam)?” And that is my new favorite insult. “What even is the point of you?” Like, Go on, justify your existence.

I was at a Senator’s townhall meeting a few years ago and one of the question askers rambled on for like three minutes about chemtrails. The Senator responded as you would expect a Senator to, but the next speaker referred to the question asker as a “dim-witted shitbird” and it has been my favorite insult ever sense.

I’ll add to that by saying the when you insult men by attacking their masculinity (which is what is happening when you make fun of a small penis) then you are encouraging them to lean in to macho, shitty, antics because you literally just told them they are not “manly” enough.
I’m not defending this guy, or guys that…

Always love to hear from a fan!

Breastfeeding is hard but I loved it. It was my favorite time of the day and I legit cried the my kids stopped on their own.

It’s a cute Metra stop, though:

It just amazes me that we’ve taken the “if I don’t have attention I don’t exist” part of our psyches and turned it up to eleven.

This is where we are as a society. We’re so bored we’re eating laundry soap for attention.