I feel you so hard, which makes me wonder why I’m doing this at all. Yet I can’t stop.

Uhhh yeah I’m sure you really missed out on a great time. Dude is ....

I hope it works out! Good vibes for your blooming relationship!!

Wyldfire? I think?

I work in a huge hospital. We work for different companies (he’s contracted for IT, I’m contracted for medical services). I only see him every couple of weeks. I think that makes it okay? Or okay-er?

I feel awesome that I met this guy in real life, got butterflies, then some scientific score based on preferences and personality matched us together. I’m talking to a couple of other dudes, but I am sho into the IT guy.

Damnnnnn!! I don’t really get embarrassed so if I don’t get a heart back, I’m gonna be like “So I saw you online looking for a girl that you can jam out with in the car. And I am VERY good at playing air guitar and I would def be into a jam session, if you are.” Then we are going to make out in the hall of the…

I have no dating tips at all of any kind. I’m terrible at it!! Yet, I keep trying.

So remember the guy I said I had a crush on from work? Then I got on a dating website and was hating it because I can’t deal with rejection? Well. Today I matched with the guy from work. And I’m like “Is this awesome or is this awkward?” I’m saying awesome. I liked him with a green heart and now I’m waiting to see if…

If my neighbor’s deck was big enough to reach my yard, I’d just ask if we could be friends with benefits. It’s always handy to have a big deck on speed dial.

Theory checks out.

Needs moar Hound.

Justin Bieber has a face tattoo! It’s super tiny, but I remember reading about it!

It means men will pay money to watch a young teenager show off her body and dance around. So a way to pander to pedophiles, but like, in a classy way.

This is so spot on. It’s like pulling some Normal out of a crowd and putting them on Ellen. She’s just not a *celebrity* or *entertainer* type. (I used the asterisk to convey a dazzling charismatic personality. Did it work?) I wear the hell out of her shoes too.

I have these Jessica Simpson boots and I love them with dresses. I’ve had them for years and still get compliments every time I wear them.

Okay that was just the audio release and not the video. I couldn’t click through for some reason.

Can I see the future or have I already seen a video with them exactly like this about a month ago? Not that I’m complaining....