Was curious. Wish I weren’t.

I found the most awesome linen shirt at TJ Maxx the other day. It’s this one:

You seem very nice and adorable, but also exhausting and high energy. Like a puppy. Everyone likes puppies, you just have to find someone that has enough emotional energy to exercise you.

I really desire a 40 of rosé. It’s shameful.

Milkshakes with a milk alternative if you can’t have dairy, a frozen banana, and globs of peanut butter. Of course, there are always the Ensures and Boosts.

I deal with a lot of GI patients and I am always amazed at how much poop some people are holding. I have seen patients lose quite a bit of weight after drinking a jug of GoLytely.

I think e-mailing the writers. I’m not sure.

Wow! You’re so good at language and don’t look foolish at all!

While I appreciate your concern, I make good English.

She could lose another fifteen pounds if she had a colonoscopy because she’s obviously full of shit.

ZING!

Nope. Not impressed.

Exactly. It’s not like this is going to be better or even comparable. This was a childhood fav of mine and I’m pretty salty about this.

Donut puns? I think the point is donut puns.

I have a theory how this happened, but it has some holes in it.

I know! I hate it when everyone is watching intently as I complete an Excel spreadsheet. I feel so vulnerable!!

Kirsten Dunst and I have the same feelings about the parts of work we dislike.

I saw him a couple of years ago and it was so bad, I left early. I had been so excited. Then I went and saw him again a few months ago and he was AMAZING. I am so glad I went.

Brb! Throwing up everywhere!

I wish Bella would be petty and say some blatant rude shit about Selena. I have no idea why I want this, I just do.