I did this one time with a guy I was seeing and he wrote and recorded a song about me. It included the wonderful lyrics “she’s on the block again/at my window throwing rocks again.” He liked it, but we were both kinda effed up at that time in our lives. We’re still friends tho.

My grandma’s my very best love and her new favorite thing to say is “Trump is getting stuff done! Bet you’re sorry you didn’t vote for him now!” Then she winks at me. I’m not sure if she’s getting dementia or just being a cheeky old monkey, but I let her slide.

My mom wants Pharrell to be her son-in-law. It’s one of the few things we agree on.

Including her mother. It’s disgusting.

This is so creepy and I feel weird now.

Today was a sad day for celeb gossip. :-(

Me too. I didn’t think it was weird though. I thought he was very crushable.

I know. For some reason, I’m still reading comments as I gag down my desk salad. Guess I just hate myself.

If I ever eat something that tastes like C. Diff smells, I can absolutely guarantee that will be the end of my relationship with food.

No! They are like markers and you dip them in water and write in iced cookies or whatever like a paintbrush. They are FANTASTIC! Totally toddler perfect. I would love scribbled sugar cookies.

Tom T Hall “Sneaky Snake” forever!!!!!!!

Yesterday I came home from work so exhausted. Kids gets in from the bus stop and I say “FYI, everything on the evening scheduled will be moved up one and a half hours early today. We will be in bed having quiet time by 7. If you disturb me, there will be a loss of privileges.”

But what if I wanted to cuddle it and make it come home and eat nachos with me on the couch? How would that go?

Your stream of thought as you figured this out was fantastic to read. Dearbutthead. <3

its one way to break the ice, but it seems to have caused some shinsion.

It’s never too late for a side hustle!

I’m so sad I didn’t get here fast enough to make the first snarky comment about Lena Dunnam’s abortion fantasy finally coming true.

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