passed away at 13. Rena, our adopted canine companion. Can’t deny golden’ are golden.

My parents got married in the early 80s in North Carolina, and it was a stressful day: my mother is the tenth of thirteen kids, so her parents’ house (where they were getting married) was FULL of people. My dad’s parents weren’t there, because they disowned him for marrying a black woman (his older brother came,…

They saved our smallest tier to take home and freeze. Our cake was a really moist spongy white cake with Bavarian cream and fresh strawberries with a whipped cream style icing. There was no way in hell I was going to freeze fresh strawberries so I could eat it a year later. I ended up eating most of it on the drive to…

Not me, but my sister had a $1,000.00 (or more) wedding cake at her destination wedding in the Bahamas - they didn’t cut the cake until around midnight and by that time everyone was already pretty hammered. My sister jokingly shoved some cake in my bro-in-law’s face or whatever and then she proceeded to just take a…

My late husband and his best man were in charge of transporting the liquor and the wedding cake to the hall before heading off to the church. They very carefully filled the trunk of the borrowed Lincoln with all the booze, then gingerly set the cake on top.

My favourite cake from my wedding catering days...

Really a potential disaster. My mother in law offered to make our wedding cake for us. A nice offer, but fraught with potential disaster from the start. Problem 1: My in-laws live about 10 hours from where we were getting married. We don’t live there either, so when I asked about how she was going to make the cake, I…

I own a catering company, so my husband and I actually catered our own wedding (because i’m a sadist who swears by her own brisket...) anywho I made this martha stewart s’more cake monstrosity from scratch and it tasted damn good, but it had to be dressed and assembled at the venue. Fast forward to about 3 hours…

Sent my fiancé to pick up the cake and take it to the restaurant. “Take someone with you.” Should have clarified “to hold the cake.” They both sat in the front seat with the cake in the back. Best part: both had minored in physics.

Instead of one big cake in the middle of the room and floral centerpieces on the tables, we decided to kill two birds with one stone and put a cake on every table. (I know; I’m a genius.) I bought glass candlesticks and glass plates from the Dollar Store, a tube of glass glue, and made my own cake stands. Welllll, the…

My pops is black and my mom is white, and when they got married in the early 80s in buttfuck Colorado this was quite the anomaly/scandal. They couldn't find a black groom cake topper so they just sharpied in a white dude. Nothing says “special day” like blackface on your wedding cake

*it being the knife, not the cake

A few years ago, I was MOH for my best friend’s wedding and got to go to the cake testing with her (best duty ever.) We got all the way through and started hammering out the details, but stalled when it came to location. She was getting married in a huge restored two-story factory, full of large windows and great…

Not my cake disaster but I was witness to this as a plus one at a wedding. Couple orders gluten free cake because best man has Celiac (we know this because the table tents said in lieu of favors they were donating to several charities including one having to due with Celiac disease in honor of the best man). Bakery…

The apple pie at the Park Hyatt DC Blue Duck Tavern restaurant is my absolute favorite. I asked them if they could make a tiered apple pie or a large apple pie for my wedding. This is what I received. Beyond my wildest expectations.

I picked an very inexpensive fondant two layer cake for my wedding and asked that the only decoration be strips of yellow ribbon wrapped around the bases of the two layers as I had flowers and a topper of my own to put on the cake. It was supposed to be ready for pickup by my brother unassembled in two boxes. Instead…

Not so much a disaster but funny. One of my younger brothers, who was 20 at the time, was conned into believing that my wedding cake was not real. My nieces, 9 and 12, decided to convince him that they we were using a prop/display cake. I don’t know what possessed them to trick him, or what possessed my brother to…

I fear a different kind of cake disaster.

So... not a disaster, but I can’t help but share this because I loved my tiered apple pie for my wedding oh so much. It was the best.

I wanted a 3 tier square shape, small and simple. My ex husbands mother claimed to be the cake boss of the rural south and “could whip that up easy peasy.” She kept me up to date on cake progress and everything she was super stoked, and I bought the hype. Come the day of our wedding (April fools day actually) we get…