I’m a time traveler. I’ll down half a bottle of bourbon, then, before I know it, I wake up in the future.

Clinging tenaciously...

Yeah, of all the qualities to vote upon, where is “fabulous buttocks”?

It looks like his mustache has a mustache.

I played 3 years Super League when it was still active. I saw 2, maybe 3 legitimate fist fights. Sure, tempers flare and the game’s physical, outright fist fights rarely happened in my experience.

I can’t wait to hop in my GAC and take a drive down to Racist Park.

Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, that they didn’t stop to think if they should.

I read more of a Groundhog Day vibe into it. I know it’s not *technically* time travel, but still, the sentiment is there.

Feathers?!? How about the claim that fossils date back to 80 million years ago? Everyone knows that the Earth is nowhere near that old. At least they should know that.-Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos

These are all great entries, but, it is lacking in one of the all time great douche canoes: James “Got any cocaine” Woods in real life, and as far as roles? Pick any, but I’m going with Lester Diamond in Casino.

...”I’m gonna beat the shit out you *with* Charles. I’m the Juggernaut, bitch.”. Still funny after all these years.

I use this line no less than once a week at work. Nobody ever gets it, I get strange looks, but it always makes me smile a little on the inside.

What is it with Superman and truck drivers? He had to deal with one in Man of Steel as well. And, in keeping with form, totally destroyed the man’s source of income and at the same time, essentially put out a giant sign saying, “Superman was here”. So much for keeping a low profile. The “S” doesn’t stand for “hope”,…

That thing had some decent effects for its day, but it was vastly inferior to Hollow Man. I mean, if we’re talking about invisible man stories you should *ahem* see.

But would you buy it for a dollar?

Add to that every third song pumped into a grocery store is a Billy Joel song. The others are a Phil Collins selection and the third being either a mid-tier 90s song or a Stevie Wonder song. Fucking grocery stores, are you trying to run your customers (and employees) off intentionally?

These matches say you’re lying. That line always elicits a hearty guffaw from me.

Of course he never went to the NYC Marathon. It’s hard to sexually assault women when they’re faster than you.

It also has Q in it and get this, Gert Frobe, Goldfinger himself, is a villain in CCBB.

Best baseball player in New York, huh? That’s pretty impressive, you know, considering he had those really bad bone spurs to contend with.